8 Steps To Finding That Perfect Relationship


How To Get A Boyfriend: It's Time To Really Commit
Follow these 8 steps to set effective goals for your relationship.

If you single and you are truly interested in being in a relationship, taking time to write out your goals can be a valuable tool in achieving your desires. This is not for the ambivalent or halfhearted dater. If you sort of want a relationship but also like your freedom, you may not be ready for this step.

If you are at the stage of giving dating "a try", hoping to find a good person, again you are not fully committed. If you are willing to clear your space and time and make some sacrifices, read on. If you are conflicted, need to forgive and heal, are holding on to a past love or have animosity towards the opposite sex, you are not ready to be in a relationship and this article will not be worth your time to read.

So now that you are reading on, you are on a serious and committed path to success in finding and enjoying a fabulous relationship. Grab a journal or pad of paper and pen and follow these 8 steps to effective goal setting:

1. Decide Clearly What You Want
Connect with burning desire. This is not a wishy-washy hope that it would be nice to be in a committed relationship. It is a clear intention. Feel that deep desire and make sure you are not conflicted in your mind because that will block or slow the process.

2. Write Your Goal On Paper
Create an affirmation and write it on a notecard, notebook or journal. For example, you could write: "I have attracted an ideal partner to me. I am enjoying a fabulous relationship with him/her." Write the statement in present tense and assume that what you want has already happened. You may also want to write out, separately, a list of positive attributes and "must haves" to clarify your vision.

3. Add A Time Frame
Depending on the time of the year, you may want to say "by the end of the year" or within 6 months.

4. Read Your Notecard Or Written Goal Three Times A Day
Ideally, read your goal first thing upon waking in the morning, some time during the day and just before going to sleep. Add some visualization of yourself as a couple, holding hands or enjoying a romantic dinner.

5. Develop A Plan Of Action.
Create a dating plan. Join an online dating site, hire a match making organization, or ask friends to introduce you to a single friend. Write out your plan and work that plan in some way every day.

6. Have Faith And Patience
Believe you will achieve your goal. Think about your goal throughout the day and make it your "magnificent obsession". If worry creeps in, stop it immediately and dwell on your desired outcome.

7. Share Your Goals With A Dating Coach Or Supportive Friend
Avoid sharing your objectives with dream stealers, naysayers, or someone who has been recently hurt in a relationship or never got over a past painful breakup. Negative people can derail your momentum and sabotage your progress.

8. Think And Act Confidently 
Dress well, be enthusiastic, smile and practice other desirable qualities and traits. Embrace the "As If" principle. Act as if what you want has already occurred. Maintain a positive attitude and belief that a meaningful relationship is possible for you.

You are worthy of a wonderful and special relationship. There is someone out there who will be a fabulous partner and loving companion in your life. Dare to step into belief and take action to make your dream come true.

If you found this article of value, it likely resonated with you. You may also enjoy Husband Hunting: The 5 Benefits Of Dating 3 Men At The Same Time, Dating Rules Or Common Sense? Why You Should Follow Your Instinct and How To Shake Off The Disappointments Of Dating Fatigue all found on YourTango.

Let's connect on Facebook or Twitter and I'll share more healthy dating and relationship tips with you. And learn more about me and the books I have written by visiting my website: www.LisaJShultz.com.

More on how to get a boyfriend from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lisa Shultz


Do you want to focus your mind to achieve your dreams more quickly and with greater ease? Are you ready to move beyond success to achieve significance? There is more to life than success, so when you are ready for more, let Lisa guide you to achieve more meaning in your life and to leave a legacy. Visit with Lisa J. Shultz to bring clarity, direction, and momentum to your life goals as well as more lasting significance. View her book list and follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Location: Breckenridge, CO
Credentials: ACC
Other Articles/News by Lisa Shultz:

Ladies: 5 Tips To Foolproof Your Dates


Perhaps you have been dating for a while and you are getting a bit cynical about the process or you are feeling burned out after several disappointing dates. Maybe you have had a relationship or two that turned out badly and you are wary and cautious. As a seasoned dater, you may be slipping into a pattern of looking for reasons to discount your prospect from ... Read more

Are You Over-Analyzing Your Dates?


Do you find yourself replaying all your dates in your head? Do you call a friend and describing in detail the progression of the date and what was said? Ever wonder if this analysis is part of the problem of your frustrating dating experience? Are you overthinking your dating life? When was the last time that you just relaxed on a date? Do you let the date ... Read more

Is It Smarter To Remain Single?


First, if you are a happy couple, I suggest you invest in your relationship and enjoy the benefits of partnership. But if you are single and constantly feeling a sense of lack by not being in a relationship, take pause and re-evaluate the motivation to re-couple. Perhaps you have always heard or been told that there is something wrong with you if you are ... Read more

See More


Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.