Love Shouldn't Hurt: Are You Dating A Narcissist?


Love Shouldn't Hurt: Are You Dating A Narcissist?
Getting over a narcissist will be 'the fight of your life.'

How many times have you been in a relationship that was passionate in the beginning but then fizzled—or worse, became abusive—within the first six months?

Have you been in love with a man who, at first, was your Prince Charming and did everything right, but then quickly turned on you, perhaps cheated, or just began to ignore you?


Did you blame yourself and then allow him back in your life, lowering your standards, only to find that his poor behavior continued? Or perhaps he lured you back in, with promises to change and be a better person, but his behavior worsened? Did he call you names, put you down, tell you that no one would ever love you the way he did—and did you begin to believe everything he said?

And despite how bad he treated you, you STILL loved him, and you felt powerless because you couldn't get over him. Maybe you even felt addicted to him, and no matter how bad the relationship, you still felt the need to be with him.

If you answered YES to any of these, then you have been in a codependent-narcissistic relationship, and you are likely the codependent. Codependency, according to Ross Rosenburg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us, is a lot like alcoholism. We become addicted to emotional manipulators due to our codependency, which is something we learn from childhood.

I am passionate about this subject because I have worked with many women to break free of their codependency, but moreover, I call myself a "recovering codependent." I know what it's like to love someone who isn't good for me. Getting over them feels close to impossible.

But it IS possible to break free from the narcissistic spell. You must first understand codependency and what triggers you to fall in love with a narcissist. Then it takes dedication and commitment to break your addiction to this person. As Ross Rosenburg says in my podcast interview, "Get ready for the fight of your life."

I have had the awesome opportunity to interview Ross and I urge you to listen to my podcast, as it offers some great insight as to why we love people who hurt us.  He will soon be offering a course on how to reverse your codependency and heal, and I encourage you to join his mailing list for updates on this offering, or to explore the possibilities of working with me. 

Whether you choose to work with me, with Ross Rosenburg, or with a therapist/coach who understands codependency, just know that this fight of your life does not have to be done alone. There are so many resources out there for you, and I'm here to give you as much as I can.

Relationships should not have to be difficult. No man should ever treat you poorly, and you should never, ever put up with it. EVER!! You are worthy of unconditional love, abundance, and happiness. It's totally possible!

Take a listen to this podcast, and email me your feedback. As always, I love to hear from you!


More Breakup advice on YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Lindsey Ellison

Divorce Coach

Lindsey Ellison

Start Over. Find Happiness.

Click here to schedule a free consultation!

Location: Annapolis, MD
Credentials: BA, BS
Other Articles/News by Lindsey Ellison:

How To Get Your Confidence Back And Love Again After He Cheats


Ladies, if you've been cheated on, then you know how crippling it can be to your self-esteem. It can send a crumbling ripple effect to your ego, making you feel worthless for many months, if not years. You play the blame game and you play it well. You’re the victim and you give your cheater immense power over you. You may look for answers but you ... Read more

Breaking Up? Don't Take it Personally


Doesn’t it feel good to get a compliment? It kind of brightens your day, right? But guess what… don’t take it personally, because that compliment has nothing to do with you. “Huh,” you ask? Let’s say you are standing in line at the grocery store check-out and you notice the woman standing in front of you has an ... Read more

How To Deal With A Narcissist Without Losing Your Mind


If you are related to, married to or divorced from a narcissist, then you know how difficult it is reason with them. Narcissists are masters at manipulation. They are often intelligent and charming when you first meet them. In the beginning, you hold them to high esteem. They're fully aware of this, of course, and they love to bask in your adulation. ... Read more

See More

Latest Expert Videos
Must-see Videos
Most Popular