Have you ever had a girl friend who completely forgot about you as soon as she got into a relationship ... until they had their first big fight, that is?
Quality friends stand out from the crowd. They value one another and treat their friendships with the utmost respect, rather than getting jealous and catty when one of them gets a guy. Once you begin attracting quality friendships, you'll start to soon attract quality men (and potential life partners) as well.
But how do you know if a man can live up to your expectations? That's where quality gal pals come in. They help you stay grounded in your values, gain clarity, keep healthy boundaries and perspectives (when love has a way of clouding perspective), and allow you to vent without blowing up at your partner. Not to mention, it's good to have a shoulder to cry on when going through a breakup.
Worried that these friendships will take away from your time with your man? In fact, it's the opposite. Having friendships outside the relationship reduces stress and conflict for you as a couple. So how do you keep your female friendships strong during your relationship?
1. Show how important your girl friends are to your man. Make it very clear how important your female friends are to you so he won't see them as superficial gossip sessions you can do without. When he understands that much of your confidence (that attracted him in the first place) and refreshing healthy perspectives are nurtured by these friends, he will value them too.
2. Designate "girl time." Make time (once or twice per month) to get together with the girls to talk, go to the spa, work out, see a chick flick or simply watch movies at home with popcorn. Choose activities that are non-threatening to a relationship so avoid bars, alcohol and co-ed get-togethers when your significant other is not with you.
3. Always support your friends. Support them and listen intently to what they share, want and need. Although your relationship may be first and foremost on your mind, discuss several topics and ask questions about what's going on with them. It's easy to get in the rut of talking incessantly about your relationship and the whole point of this is to have many aspects to your life than just one thing — no matter how great or challenging it may be.
You'll see how cultivating and nurturing these friendships will benefit your relationship in return. A secure man accepts your friendships. Insecure men often manipulate your free time in an attempt to isolate you from friends because they feel threatened. Not to mention, you'll have more to talk about. Your conversation will be better-rounded because you have girlfriends to discuss things with as well. You can maintain the confidence and happiness he loves about you by remaining grounded in your friendships and remembering he's not responsible for your happiness — you are. Enjoy your guy and enjoy your friends. You'll feel less overwhelmed and more at peace with who you are, so you'll be able to relax with your friends and your man more readily.
Kelly Rudolph is a Certified Life Coach, Hypnotherapist and Founder of www.PositiveWomenRock.com. Are you tired of stress, lack of confidence and fear about your future? Kelly can help. Begin getting her free Life Strategies now.
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