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6 Signs Your Gut Is Telling You To Break Up And Move On From Him

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6 Signs Your Gut Is Telling You To Break Up And Move On From Him
Heartbreak, Love

Maybe you find yourself enjoying the security of having a relationship.

You’ve been in a relationship for about a year, now, and you’ve been out on a ton of dates with your man. You’ve tried to remain positive about the relationship. But, something just doesn’t feel right. You’re not quite sure what it is. But, you just can’t seem to shake that feeling. Is he the one?

Maybe, you find yourself enjoying the security of having a relationship. All of your friends are starting to get married and have a family. But, you aren’t married yet. Maybe, you fear you won’t meet anyone else.

So, you hang on to the one you have. Why not? He has a good job and he is reliable.

I know this is a difficult decision. It is also one of the biggest decisions you will make in your life, you need to make a choice. Here are 6 signs that it's time to break up and move on:

1. It’s all about him.

When was the last time he asked you, what you wanted? Sure, he made you dinner. But, he only makes you what he likes. He makes decisions without your input. Like, deciding you will go to Santa Cruz for the long weekend without discussing it with you.

Then, he makes sure you pay your half, right down the line. Relationships are about compromises. This guy thinks in "me" rather than "we."

2. You don’t want to be alone.

This is an easy mistake to make. As human beings, we all need a relationship. But, the last thing you want to do is be in one because you feel lonely. I know when you are single, it feels like everyone but you is in a relationship.

Many people feel it’s better to be in a relationship, rather than be alone, even if the person is abusive. In the long run, this will tear you down and ruin your self-esteem. If you’re holding on to the wrong one because you are scared of being alone, remind yourself that you can find the right one, but not when you are with the wrong one.

3. You lose hope that he'll change.

If your guy doesn’t respect you in the beginning, chances are, he won’t ever respect you. When you start a relationship, you have a dream. You want to get married and have a family. It’s easy to ignore the red flags when you feel this way.

When going into a relationship, it’s important to know what your red flags are and stick to them.

4. You feel like you're missing out on other men.

When you stay with the wrong one, you miss out on meeting the right one. This guy only comes around when it’s convenient for him. He didn’t remember your birthday. He doesn’t offer to bring you soup when you are sick. He knows he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life with you, but yet he keeps you around.

Face it, you are his booty call and you deserve better than this.

5. He never stops working.

You can’t remember the last time you had a date where he wasn’t glued to his phone. He is always talking about work. Sure, he talks about wanting to move up the ladder, but it’s for his own selfish reasons.

He never asks for your input and he doesn’t take your work seriously. This is a sign he could be a workaholic. If that’s the case, then he could have some deep rooted problems he needs to heal from.

6. You don’t want to hurt his feelings.

I know he is nice, but he’s just not a good match for you. You still don’t feel that emotional connection, that you are needing. I know you feel bad for sticking with him as long as you have. But, it’s not fair to yourself or him, if you don’t end it. He is an adult and he will get over it and move on.

A bad relationship won’t change overnight. Sticking around will only make matters worse. Learn what you can from the experience. Now, you know what you don’t want. Talk to friends and family, and read self-help books. It will be hard at first, but eventually, you will be able to move on.

Lianne Avila is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist in San Mateo, CA. She has helped many people heal from a difficult relationship. For a free 15-minute phone consultation or more information, please visit Lessons for Love.

Watch Expert Clayton Olson on 2 questions you need to ask yourself to see if it's time to break up:

This article was originally published at Lessons for Love. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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