Relationship Resolutions For Women Over 50


Breakup Advice: How To Move On When You're Over 50
Moving on is easier with clear goals to work toward.

Starting over can be hard — it can seem insurmountable when you're over 50. But here's the good news: It's definitely doable, and you can find the love you deserve. Use the past as inspiration to move forward with these relationship resolutions.

Relationship Resolution #1: Never Again
Have you ever been through a breakup and swore, "I'll never do that again!" only to find yourself back in the same relationship patterns? It's awful, isn't it? Unfortunately, it takes having a few relationships before you discover that you're the common denominator, but trust me: it's actually a good thing to finally acknowledge. How do you actually follow through with a crazy resolution like this one? You're human, right? And you're going to be in relationship, right? (Unless you've sworn them off, but that doesn't really work either — I promise!)

The real question to ask yourself is this: "How do I get into a relationship without ending up in the same type of relationship?"  

Here's the answer: You gotta take a good, hard look at yourself. Honestly look at your patterns of behavior, your communication, and attachment styles that you repeatedly find yourself in. At 50, you probably know what they are, so stop pointing your finger at the other person and take a good hard compassionate look at yourself. (Without blaming yourself, of course.)

If you want help with this, call me! I can be very compassionate without letting you "get away" with anything. 

Relationship Resolution #2: Create A Power Base
I just got off of the phone with a 50 year old woman who has recently ended a relationship. She said, "I made my whole life about him, and now I have nothing!" With a power base, your life won't fall apart when the relationship ends. I read recently that everyone needs to have least three things: 

  1. Do something on a regular basis that ooozes self-love. Pick up a hobby, take time for meditation, or travel to your favorite vacation spot. Maybe you like reading trashy novels! Go for whatever makes you feel good.  
  2. Spend regular time nurturing friendships. It's easy to get depressed if you hibernate when going through a breakup. Wallowing in self-pity is okay for a few days, but take a break from it, OK? If you want a healthy relationship, then you need to make sure your friendships are solid. And, whatever you do, don't give up your friends for a relationship.  
  3. Get involved with something that you care about. This could be volunteering in an organization, like what I do with the Insight Prison Project (I facilitate a restorative justice program inside a California state prison.) You could join a softball team or a cooking club. Make sure that whatever you engage involves a community that you enjoy being a part of.

Relationship Resolution #3: Get Support
The biggest thing I see people do when they break up is isolate themselves from the life they once knew. It's common, it's normal, and in some situations, it may be completely appropriate. Maybe they feel judged by their married friends, or shame over the relationship's failure, or maybe they feel like no one understands. The right kind of support will help you follow through with your first two relationship resolutions, which can sometimes be tricky.

If you're 50 and going through a breakup, you're probably ready to do something that you've never done before: Reclaim Yourself! 50 is the most common age for women to really commit to letting go of the old so they can consciously create their new life.  

Introduction to Spiritual Divorce
If you're ready to get support in making yourself a priority, then join me for an 8-week study of Spiritual Divorce and let this fulfill one of your relationship resolutions for getting support! The rest will follow — I promise!  

More on How To Move On from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Leila Reyes

Divorce Recovery Coach

Leila Reyes, CICP, is an international coach, workshop & Spiritual Divorce(tm) facilitator specializing in divorce recovery.  She can help you heal your heart, regain your power, and create a vibrant and fulfilling life after the shattering loss of your hopes and dreams.

Download your copy of her PDF Report: 7 Practices for Moving On

Location: San Anselmo, CA
Credentials: ACC
Other Articles/News by Leila Reyes:

The Top 3 Ways To Regain Your Confidence After Divorce


As humans, we need confidence that we can move beyond our painful experiences. However, when we're in the middle of them, it can feel like our suffering will never end. Here are my top 3 ways on how you can regain your self confidence after divorce: 1. Cultivate Your Consciousness If you're reacting to the circumstances around you, then you are ... Read more

Relationship Advice From A Fisherwoman


There is nothing more relaxing than being on the lake fishing... I mean being in the arms of a lover who adores you, who bathes your body with kisses of gratitude at the privilege of loving you.  In an interactive dance of the heart you see each other and think how wonderful life is. And when the relationship moves into another moment in time where ... Read more

The ABC's Of Breakups


Don't worry….you can't do it wrong! Experiencing a breakup can feel like a tornado that tears your heart apart. Getting lost in the turmoil is par of course, and I want you to know that you will be okay — it takes time! When you're in the middle of it, hearing that it just takes time can feel diminishing to the storm that is ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.