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It's your body, have sex with it!
By Lauren Brim — Written on Sep 23, 2015
Sex.
I love it. You love it. We all love it.
At least we should.
So why are so many women uninterested in sex?
If you reported to your doctor that you were disinterested in food, work, or seeing your friends, they would instantly diagnose you with depression. And yet, if a woman reports her disinterest in sex, it is brushed off as a characteristic of ... her being a woman.
Why?
Because we have been taught that men are the sexual ones. They have, after all, all the testosterone, right? They are the ones addicted to porn, and affairs, and endlessly jacking off.
Well I would argue that this is very far from the truth. Testosterone is only one factor that contributes to a healthy libido. What really affects our experience of sexuality is culture.
In the 1800s, the medical textbooks of the time reported that healthy women had no sexual libido. This wasn't based in science, but in the Victorian ideals that were popular at the time. In fact, women into the 1900s were encouraged not to be sexual even with their husbands! Unfortunately this mentality is still buried in our cultural unconsciously to this day. A respectable woman, a healthy woman, a sane woman, isn't sexual. Or is she?
In the groundbreaking book by Christopher Ryan, Sex at Dawn, he takes us on a journey through history and culture to show us that both women and men are in reality, very sexual. Our closest genetic partner on earth is the bonobo, famous for its highly sexual way of relating to others, that includes sex for pleasure, sex to solidify relationships and even sex with both sexes! He shows us that there are cultures where women are perceived as the sexually insatiable ones and where women are free to enjoy multiple sexual partners. This shows us that women in western culture are sexually suppressed, and not for biological reasons, but for cultural ones.
So why are women still afraid to have sex like men do?
Here's why:
1. They haven't owned their rocking libido.
Girl, you have more sex drive than you know what to do with. Give yourself permission to lust, permission to desire, permission to watch porn, permission to desire the same sex. You are super sexual. Own it!
2. They haven't owned all their different orgasms.
Women can have ten times the number of orgasms that men can have. They just take longer to surface. Don't stop at the clitoral orgasms! Explore your g-spot orgasm with a vibrator, cervical orgasms on your hands and knees, anal play with a tongue or finger, and the nerve endings of the ears, neck, nipples, labia, and the list goes on. Discover your orgasm alone or with a partner, but discover it!
3. They haven't owned that men love sexual women.
In western culture it's difficult not to be concerned about being called a slut or thinking that men will think less of you for having a large number of sexual partners. But this is changing!! Tinder, Amy Schumer, Orange is the New Black, and a million other influences in media and otherwise are starting to change the way we think about women and sex. It's cool to be bi. It's cool to have a threesome. It's cool to enjoy sex. What a concept! Men love sexual women.
4. They haven't owned that sexual experience equals sexual wisdom.
You don't get good at anything without experience. Period. To really understand sex you need to have sex, talk about sex and have different sexual partners. You need a sexual education. Already in a monogamous relationship? No problem. Explore new things with your partner, watch porn, play with sex toys, and ask your male and female friends about their experiences with sex, masturbation, casual encounters, and anything else you're curious about. And read! Of course, I always recommend my book The New Rules of Sex or my audio course Sexual Mastery for Women.
5. They haven't owned that lots of sex won't stop them from meeting their husband or life partner.
This is one of the biggest obstacles to women having sex like men do. Women have been told that they will never meet their life partner or husband if they keep having sex with men who aren't "the one". This is total b*******. They have also been told that if they have sex too soon, or too often, or with their exs, or whatever, that they will jinx, impede, turn off, or completely destroy their chance of a relationship now or for the rest of time. It's time to put this to rest. Need proof? Write me and I'll tell you my own personal story and the stories of many others. Being who you are sexually is more authentic and more attractive than pretending to be something you're not. Which means pretending not to be sexual.
Women in the western world are finally starting to enjoy sex like men have done for centuries. We can't be held back any longer from claiming our power, our pleasure and our independence. We were made for sex.
So what are you waiting for?
Step into the sex you've been waiting for with sex coach and author Lauren Brim. Sign up for coaching or an online course at www.HealthNow.am or pick up a copy of her bestselling book The New Rules of Sex.
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