Balancing Your Feminine and Masculine Sides


Balancing Your Feminine and Masculine Sides
Modern women have to be masculine to "make it" and can't relish their feminine side regularly.

Lately I've been hit with a lot of messages about women, masculinity, and femininity and I've started to realize how out of balance I've been. Working longer hours, dealing with both of my dogs being diagnosed with cancerous tumors just months apart, and my mother-in-law being diagnosed with cancer have all contributed to a just-barrel-through-it attitude. This attitude is totally masculine. After all, someone has to take charge and make decisions, and feeling too much might lead to a breakdown.  Besides, who has time to not just do it? Perhaps, that's why I'm noticing all of the messages.

In today's world, most women don't have the luxury of enjoying their feminine side much. At work, we're expected to be in control, unemotional, alpha females who are there to get the job done.  Too much of that touchy-feely stuff detracts from doing our job and climbing the corporate ladder.


Then we come home and still can't shed that masculine shield.  There's homework to be done with the kids, meals to be made, bedtime routines to be followed, and a house to keep clean. God bless the men who help, but it seems that women continue to shoulder the majority of the responsibility for the coordination and care of the children and household. Then, finally at the end of the night, we collapse into bed, too exhausted to even think about sex and romance.

The need for our masculine side is undeniable. It helps us succeed at work. It gets things done. But we also need our feminine side, the softer side that connects emotionally to others and the world around us. Without that, how would our children be nurtured? How would we develop that intimacy and security with ourselves and our partners?

The question then becomes, how do we balance our masculine and feminine? What will help to shed our masculine shield at the end of the day and become the warm, nurturing, emotional, feminine woman we were born to be? I've heard many suggestions over the years, and I'll list a few here so you can decide which resonate with you.

  1. Take a bath at the end of every day.
  2. Dance naked, especially in front of the mirror (also a daily activity).
  3. Cry to release emotions.
  4. Take a belly dancing, pole dancing, strip dancing class or some other class that reminds you of your sensuality.
  5. Journal to get the masculine out and transition into your feminine.
  6. Let others take charge (you really can't control everything).
  7. Focus on emotions — own yours and acknowledge those of others.
  8. Dress in a way that makes you feel good about yourself and accentuates your best assets.
  9. Wear sexy underwear everyday.
  10. Use self-affirmations to remind yourself of your positive female qualities.

More Advice on Self Love from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Laura Fontaine

Relationship Coach

Laura Fontaine is a relationship coach who specializes in working with career women in committed relationships.  She helps them resolve their unique challenges so they connect with their partner from the heart, achieving and maintaining a deep, soul-satisfying bond.  Over a decade of working with individuals, couples, and families gives her a unique perspective on the workings of relationships and the power of the individual.  Her passion is to help women have the best relationships they can envision for themselves.  

Location: Queen Creek, AZ
Credentials: BCC, MS
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Marriage
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