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Whether you marry or stay single, make sure it's what you really want.
By Kim Olver — Last updated on Jun 11, 2023
Statistics show some people are more likely to have children than to get married. Older people who are getting involved romantically are finding fewer reasons to get married.
So why has marriage gotten such a bad reputation? And is single life better?
It's all down to you and your significant other, but it helps to understand what you're getting into if you decide to marry or stay single.
Here are seven reasons people might not want to get married:
1. Divorce is possible (or even likely)
With the divorce and annulment rate decreasing but still high in the United States, people don't have a lot of faith that marriage offers long-term security anymore.
2. You're used to living alone
People have lived alone long enough to find it difficult to share living space again.
3. The rest of your life could be a very long time
People live significantly longer today than they did 50 years ago. It's hard to imagine being with one person for the rest of one's life.
4. You don't want choices to be restricted
People want partners who are with them out of choice rather than obligation or a marriage license.
5. You don't believe in the institution of marriage
People no longer trust the promise of marriage.
6. You'd rather not give up your financial independence
People don't want to share their assets.
7. You want to stay commitment-free
People choose not to commit to maintaining their freedom.
And here are seven reasons people might choose to get married:
1. Less risk of an STD
In exclusive relationships, there's no risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
2. The chance to grow as a person
Some believe a person can learn more about themselves in a committed relationship and can experience great personal growth.
3. Loving companionship
Companionship is a reason many get into exclusive relationships.
4. Greater stability for a family
Marriage can provide a stable home life for children.
5. Sharing the cost of living
People can save money by sharing expenses.
6. The sense of inner peace that comes with explicit trust
A deep connection of trust and faith can develop in a long-term committed relationship.
7. Finding lasting comfort in building a life together
People may make a commitment so they aren't alone.
Naturally, there are many reasons for each side. There's no right or wrong, although everyone you know probably has a strong opinion about what you should do, regardless of your personal preferences. Each person must decide for him or herself what will best meet his or her needs.
If you're in a relationship, it's important for you to communicate your position to your partner. Whether or not you want to be in an exclusive, committed relationship is information your partner has a right to know. If you prefer to maintain your independence, then your partner has a right to know. If you're a person looking for an exclusive life partner, your partner has a right to know that, too.
When you're honest with the person you're dating, it provides you both an opportunity to make the best decision for his or her situation.
Transparency in relationships is a piece that's often missing. We fear that if we're transparent, our significant other won't want to be with us anymore.
However, if you have to pretend to be something you aren't to maintain in your current relationship, perhaps that relationship isn't the right one for you.
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Kim Olver is the author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.
This article was originally published at InsideOut Empowerment. Reprinted with permission from the author.