50 Things You Should Try For Hotter Sex
ProConnect

5 Lessons For Women 50 Shades Of Grey Didn’t Teach You

By

5 Lessons For Women 50 Shades Of Grey Didn’t Teach You
50 Shades is great fiction but it is fiction nonetheless

Two weeks ago, I wrote an article entitled, 5 Love Lessons Men Can Learn From Christian Grey. It received many comments, mainly from men angry I didn’t address what women can do to improve relationships. I had always intended to write an article for women and here it is.

I made a case for what women loved about Christian Grey and what men could learn, if they were so inclined, about how to please a woman from characteristics Mr. Grey exhibited. However, there are just as many lessons for women that the books don’t teach.

More from YourTango: How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job

1. No man will ever measure up to a fictitious character in a book. While reading romance novels and watching romantic comedies can provide great entertainment and a temporary escape from daily life, don't make the mistake that the characters in these works of fiction are real. You will not find Christian Grey in the real world. When we begin to believe in the existence of these fictional characters, we do a disservice to the real men in our lives. We expect them to measure up to a writer’s imagination of a man who is completely made up! Yes, you can find men who have some of the qualities and characteristics of your favorite male character, know that it is impossible to find a perfect match over the long haul. Adjust your expectations to be realistic. Stop looking for the “perfect” man and perhaps you’ll find the “perfect” man for you, imperfections and all. Secrets of Happy Couples

2. The love of a good woman does not turn the “bad” boy into a prince. This fantasy begins early in life with many Walt Disney movies and continues through soap operas, Harlequin romance novels and romantic comedies. In the real world, a “bad” boy typically remains a “bad” boy until he decides he wants to change and many never do. Your love will not heal or otherwise transform a man from bad to good. And if your man does try to change for you, it will likely not last because the change is not self-motivated.

People choose the behaviors that generally work for them. You will not get them to change simply because you love them enough. They must decide what they are doing no longer works and there is something better to try with a greater likelihood of success.

The best gift you can give your man is a genuine acceptance of who he is. If you are unable to accept him, then you are better off ending the relationship than continuously trying to mold him into your idea of the man you really want. How Compatible Are You And Your Partner? EXPERT

More from YourTango: The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kim Olver

Speaker/Presenter

Kim Olver, LCPC, has been featured in Whole Living, Women's World, Fitness Magazine and Counseling Today and is the best-selling, award winning author of Secrets of Happy Couples: Loving Yourself, Your Partner, and Your Life.

Connect with Kim by signing up for her FREE InsideOut Relationship Advice Newsletter and receive a FREE recording about our Life Changing Process, InsideOut Empowerment and have access to FREE relationship assessments.

Check out new products that might be for you in my Webstore

Location: Country Club Hills (Chicago), IL
Credentials: LCPC, MS, NCC
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Empowering Women
Other Articles/News by Kim Olver:

How To Be Happy: It's An InsideOut Job

By

The reason most people feel unhappy is that they are in search of this illusive happiness that is somehow found outside of them in things they acquire, people they want and experiences they have. While these things can bring temporary pleasure, if you are seeking true happiness, it’s an InsideOut job. See the seven steps on how to be happy and ... Read more

The Cheerios Commercial: Is Interracial Marriage Still Taboo?

By

As a person who has been in an interracial relationship, I was so encouraged to see the newest Cheerios commercial star a Caucasian mother, an African American father and their adorable biracial little girl. When the media begins to depict different types of families, the public may be exposed to difference in a way they wouldn't otherwise and exposure can ... Read more

Why You Should Never 'Reward' Your Boyfriend With Sex

By

According to The Daily Mail, new research says that two-thirds of British women admit using sex to reward their partner for good behavior, with helping around the home being the most common reason they reward their partners in the bedroom. For generations and generations, men and women have been attempting to control each others' behavior. We ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
paltrow-martin

Are Open Relationships A Way To Divorce-Proof Your Marriage?

A new study says we're more open to consensual nonmonogamy now than ever before — but do they work?

Brain

TODAY Is The "Grand Cross" - What It Means...

Today is a big deal in Western astrology – there is a perfect “Grand Cross” ...

Life Coach: The Questions You Should Ask Before You Commit

8 Questions You Must Ask Yourself Before You Commit To A Partner

Before you make the big choice of a partner, take time to ask some very important questions.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS