If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!
My dear children,
Here are a few things I want to express to you without yelling or losing my sh*t (again!):
1. No, I will not buy you an iPhone!
You are 10. You don't need an iPhone. I don't believe you when you say all of your friends have one. (And to the mother who did get her 10-year old an iPhone... Come on! You're killing me here!)
And believe it or not, asking me over and over again while crying and begging doesn't make me want to get you one. It just makes me want to run away ... and never, ever get you an iPhone.
2. We do have fun!
It makes me really mad when you tell me that we never do anything fun — mostly because by "never," you mean in the last 20 minutes. It doesn't matter that I took you to the most amazing place ever yesterday. If I haven't found a way to be the coolest mom on the block today, "we never do anything fun."
3. I am not here to clean up your mess.
That includes dirty dishes, food wrappers of any kind, dirty (or clean) clothes, socks, pillows and blankets on the floor, dog pee (because you didn't take her out while you were in charge of her), crumbs on the counter, your pee on or around the toilet seat, toothpaste in and around the sink (seriously, I don't even know how you get so much toothpaste around the sink!), electronics, and chargers of said electronic devices.
I'm your mother, not your maid. (And, no! I will not pay you to clean up messes that YOU made.)
4. I am not a single parent. (A.k.a. Bug your father once in awhile)
If I'm not home and you're sick, mad at your brother, hungry or anything else that requires a parent, you can talk to your father. Your father is perfectly capable of parenting and is actually quite good at it! You should really check out his skills sometime.
This also works even if I'm home and he's home, too! I know it's amazing to realize you have TWO fully-functioning parents in your life who love and take care of you. But, you do!
5. If you tell me you're "bored" one more time ...
Let's just say you would be very wise to not tell me that again.
That is all.