Is it better to keep quiet instead of be truthful? A man explains what he wants to say, but can't.
Recently, Derrick Rose of the Chicago Bulls took a lot of heat when he talked about worries toward his future as a man, rather than directing his team toward the championship. This is one of the major reason why we, as men, are hesitant to talk ... I mean really talk.
When we express vulnerability or dissatisfaction of any kind in our relationships, we are going to get criticized. We are either too tough or not tough enough. We can't win. If we talked to our spouses that way, we would be in the dog house for sure. So, what do we do? We keep silent.
In reality, here are 5 things men sometimes want to say to our wives or families, but know there will be consequences:
1. Just do it your damn self. Our kids are really smart. If they can do something without much effort, they are going to do it. An article by the New York Times outlines the perils of helicopter parenting. Listen kid, I work pretty hard to feed you, clothe you and provide a safe environment; I'm not going to pick up your clothes too.
2. Do you think I'm dumb? Love of my life, sometimes you ask me questions that you already know the answers to. Is it a way for you to see if my brain functions correctly as I get older? Or, since you make most of the decisions for my family, do just want to get me involved?
3. Why can't you keep on the same clothes? When I used to come home from work, you'd have on your corporate clothes, or some inviting pajamas. You looked sexy, and I'm not sure if you got that from your closet or our daughters. But either way, it’s not conjuring up any sexual feelings at all, so why can't you just keep on the same clothing?
4. Can we just have sex? It's hard to say it now because it's been so long. Plus, we are parents. In reality, we don't want to hear you say no or attach conditions to the action. We experienced that enough when we were dating. We experience that now every day when we go to work. You're sexy to me and I want to act on it.
5. I will never beg. If you feel the way that I mentioned in reason #4, I shouldn't have to do this. I will find other alternative ways to feel sexual gratification that don't involve another woman. If you feel differently about me, then we need to really talk, or we need to talk to somebody that can help.