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Why Men Should (Always) Pay For Dinner: 3 Truths To Consider

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Dating: Why Men Should Pay For Dinner Dates
She's going to have your baby one day and THAT is why you should pay.
Women pay for their hair, makeup and more … so he should pick up the tab.

The topic of who should pay for dinner on a date has long been debated and many have answered the question:

  • He asked you on the date, so he should plan it and pay for it.
  • It's the chivalrous thing to do.
  • Men are the providers and as women we want to feel taken care of.

In my estimation, all of these answers are true and legitimate, but there are a few factors that no one is really talking about that I want to get straight and out there for all to see. Keep reading to see why I think men should be paying for dinner date. 

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1. It Takes A Long Time For Us To Get Ready 
Chances are, men you take a quick shower, run some product through your hair, throw on some clothes and BAM, you're ready. 20-minutes max, no stress, right? Or you come straight from work and show up in whatever you put on in the morning. Maybe you thought about it. Maybe you splashed on some more cologne. But chances are, it really wasn't too much of a thing.

Do you know what it takes for a woman to get ready for a date? When we arrive, we look fresh and beautiful, and you fantasize that this is how we woke up. Well, sorry to burst your bubble, babe, but it just ain't so. Here's what it takes for a woman: If I know I have a date at night all prep begins in the morning. I need to make sure I wash my hair and blow it dry just right. I have to put just the right product in it so it holds properly and is prepped for styling later.

I have to be mindful of it most of the day—can't put it in a ponytail otherwise I'm locked in because of that pesky ridge it will leave in my hair. Which means my workout has to be timed, so there's enough time to get home, fully shower, shave my legs, blow dry my hair, put on makeup and choose an outfit. Not too revealing, but not too buttoned-up; it has to be just right. Maybe I've thought of it all day, but regardless, as soon as I hit my closet how I feel that day will inevitably have me changing my clothes at least six times.

And now my bedroom looks like a bomb went off in it, and if it isn't our first or second date and you might be coming home with me, I now need to clean all this sh*t up! And speaking of sex, if we're going to be having sex after our date, I have to be sure my wax is fresh, but not too fresh (because redness), so I had to make sure that was done at least a day or two in advance. But was there enough growth for that, and if not, what do I do then? Shave?Timing, in the case of a bikini wax, is everything.

By the end of the day, no matter what we have done to prepare, in order to re-style our hair and apply fresh makeup, and feel appropriately pretty, it takes at least a good hour for us to get ready, not including all the work we've done in the morning. All totaled, we've probably spent a good 2 hours getting ready for this date. At least. (This, by the way, is why we panic when you ask us out last minute).

2. It Costs A LOT To Look This Good
The second thing that most men don't think about, and most women won't actually admit to, is how much it costs for us to look this good. This, in my opinion, is the most underappreciated and under-estimated factor in dating and relationships (and even in marriages). Again, you like to think we just look like this with no effort and no cost, but in reality it costs a small fortune for us to look as good as we do.

More from YourTango: Why I'm Giving Up My Amicable Divorce, Part 2

Here's a sample breakdown of some of the costs associated with being a woman that men don't consider or are oblivious to (women, I'm sorry I'm letting the cat out of the bag, but it must be done):

  • Mani/pedi: $30-60 every 2 weeks
  • Hair cut and color: $125-350 every 6-8 weeks
  • Wax: $30-60 every 4 weeks
  • Other beauty regimens: (Latisse, facials, makeup, other secrets) - $100-300+ every 6-8 weeks
  • Gym: $50-150 every month
  • Clothes & shoes: Depends, but trust me, it's probably more than men spend! Keep reading...

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Kate Anthony

YourTango Expert Partner

Helping You Rock Single Motherhood

www.kateanthony.com

 

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: ACC, CPCC, Other
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Divorce Rehabilitation, Empowering Women
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