Why powerful women who get ahead in business often fail at love.
Ever noticed how men are totally intimidated by women who are successful?
Ever noticed how you've set up your whole life to be successful and amazing? You own your own home, you pay all your bills in full and on time, you have a nice wardrobe and a great shoe collection, because guess what? You have a thriving, successful career; all these things that make you totally amazing and yet, many men are totally intimidated by you. What's up with that?
Here's the deal: When a man sees a powerful woman who is in control, he immediately and primally feels threatened because why on earth would she need him? Men are at an instinctual level, not a cultural, or particularly evolved level, but at the most base, primal, caveman level, designed to be our protectors. When we give them absolutely nothing to protect, they feel useless.
Let's back up for a minute and take a look at what has you ahead in your career. You're likely strong, focused, hard-working—all great qualities, right? Totally! Also very masculine qualities. You've had to beat all the odds, likely in a male-dominated industry and in doing so, you've likely gotten a little hard around the edges. In many senses you've set up your life as if to say, "I don't need a man," and in many senses you're absolutely right. But you want one; you wouldn't be here, reading this if you didn't. Here's a huge thing—men need to feel needed. It fulfills them. It's what makes them feel like men.
So here are some tricks and a few dating rules as to how to keep being your amazing, powerhouse self, and also leave room for an amazing man to come into your life.
Next time you go on a date, let the man hold the door for you, pay for dinner, open your car door, drive the car, pick you up, pick your outfit, plan the date (come on, you know you plan everything, right?) Let him do something, anything, that makes him feel needed. And if it's not perfect, smile and say thank you.
Remember, men need to feel needed. They need to protect you in some way. Otherwise, they're just not being men.
For More Dating Rules From YourTango:
- Break the Dating Rules—And Win!
- Dating Rules For Women
- 10 Dating Tips I Wish I'd Followed While I Was Single