ProConnect

'Am I Truly, Totally In Love?'

By ,

Relationship Coach: How To Know If You Have Unconditional Love
When you know, you know!
Have you accepted limitless love into your life? Celebrate it!

Love... it's grand, isn't it? But what's love if it isn't the real deal? Many people think that real love is unconditional — that is, limitless. We spoke with relationship experts Karen Anderson and Lori Beth Bisbey to help answer an important question: how will I know?

To start, Anderson explains, you'll have to define what unconditional love really is: "First, let's examine unconditional love from the inside out. Allow yourself to experience what it might feel like personally to receive unconditional love and then challenge yourself: can you provide this experience to another? What does that even look like? Here's an example: one day while gently meandering through routine moments, you experience a strong and overwhelming desire to share a part of yourself; a part that has delicate threads of shame and vulnerability woven throughout. Maybe in conversation with your lover or partner, or pillow talk, the moment seems right. You know, those delicates moments that immediately after you may want to dive under the bed and hide. It's scary, but it's a universal feeling if we've been brave enough to share."

More from YourTango: Can you stay in the flow of the moment?

Bisbey continues, explaining that, as we grow older, our image and idea of love might change: "As an adult, unconditional love can be an elusive beacon that we spend much of our lives chasing." Unconditional love provides us with a safe space where are accepted fully; a relationship in which we can be our authentic selves and be loved empathically receiving empathy and appreciation. When we are loved unconditionally, we grow toward our full potential. When someone sees us clearly and gives us open acceptance, we find it easier to accept our own issues and to move past self-imposed limitations. When we love unconditionally, we offer empathy and support to those we love. We support and inspire the subjects of our love to be as authentic as they can be.  We love them through the most difficulty of times as well as through times of joy and ease."

Of course, as Anderson explains, opening ourselves up to the possibility of real, unconditional love can be terrifying — but it's entirely worth it: "So now that you've generated that shameful feeling in your body (after sharing your deepest, truest self), you may find your muscles tightening, your heart racing — you may even want to cry or yell. But then your partner reaches out, looks at you and says, 'Thanks for sharing that.' Maybe they just smile and in that moment the darkest part that felt so flawed doesn't seem quite so dark anymore. You feel loved, you feel truly seen inside and out, and you feel known. It's that inexplicable moment in time when you get that sense that you are understood and not alone in the world."

More from YourTango: Want To Date A Higher Quality Man? 5 Changes You Must Make First

Keep reading...

More Juicy Content From YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Karen Anderson

Relationship Coach

Karen Anderson MS

Conscious Relationship Expert

www.karenmanderson.com

Location: Las Vegas, NV
Credentials: LMFT, MS
Advanced Member

Dr Lori Bisbey

Relationship Coach

Lori Beth Bisbey, PhD

Whole Life Certified Coach

 

Location: Sevenoaks, KEN, United Kingdom
Credentials: BS, MA, Other, PhD
Specialties: Chronic Pain/Disability or Illness, Couples/Marital Issues, Sexuality
Other Articles/News by Karen Anderson, Dr Lori Bisbey:

Can you stay in the flow of the moment?

By

It seems like we all know someone, if not ourselves, that is going through a difficult life experience. We want to be supportive and often offer expressions of “it’s all for the best”, “it will get better”…yet we know at some level our words only supply a hollow support to what they are going through and here’s ... Read more
Recent Expert Posts
Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Family With 2 Young Kids

What Wise Parents Know About Raising Successful Children

What are we teaching our children when we focus on their achievements rather than their kindness?

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS