Why Men Are Settling For Mrs. Good Enough

to the YourTango newsletter!

FIND AN EXPERT
Advanced SearchKimberly SeltzerDr. Erica  GoodstoneJennifer Chappell Marsh MFT Intern #65184
ProConnect

The Real Reason He Didn't Want Another Date

By . Posted on .

The Real Reason He Didn't Want Another Date
Have you ever been interested in, or worse, in love with a man and he leaves for no apparent reason?

Have you ever been interested in, or worse, in love with a man and he leaves for no apparent reason? Maybe it’s because you’re a High Maintenance woman and don’t realize it.

Men are ever-watchful to avoid getting involved with High Maintenance women. Let me explain why it’s one of the worst things you can do if you want a man to fall in love with you and STAY in love.

You’ve heard of High Maintenance women but do you know what that means? Hopefully, after I explain this sad malady, you’ll cleanse any HM behavior you might be doing without realizing it so you no longer scare men off.

A High Maintenance woman needs everything to be just right. For example, she’s extremely particular what restaurant she needs to be taken to, then what table she needs to sit at and needs her food prepared just so.

With all those needs, she’s going to point out when things aren’t right. Most men won’t go on a second date with this kind of woman because it doesn’t feel good to be around her. NOTE: Bottom line, men want to be with a woman who makes him feel good. But some women keep this behavior under tight wraps at first, trying to put their best stiletto forward. But when her needs are this extreme, they squish out eventually, and often in some pretty ugly ways.

That’s when the guy starts heading for the door. It’s pretty obvious to spot this kind of woman and even more obvious why a man would not want to get involved with her. Even her women friends can handle only so much of her self-centered behavior.

But what about the Stealth High Maintenance woman? This kind of woman sneaks up on a man, so he doesn’t realize what he’s getting himself into. All he knows is that he doesn’t feel good to be around her.

So how do you define a SHM woman? She lets her date know in subtle ways that he’s disappointing her. She sighs when she says, “Sure, that restaurant will be just fine.” But he can tell that he’s blowing it, he just doesn’t quite know why. And for a while, he’ll try hard to please her. And the more he’s attracted to her, the harder and longer he’ll try.

But eventually, she wears away at his sense of masculinity. He realizes that she’s a bottomless pit and will never be happy. One of the Secrets about men that I reveal in Men Made Easy is, “If you’re not happy, he’s a failure.” Men hate to fail. I’ve asked many men over the years why they left their wife or girlfriend and what they say, with body language that shows their sense of failure, “I couldn’t make her happy.” Another important thing I teach in this book is the concept of Feminine Grace. A high maintenance woman cannot be gracious because she’s too self-centered.

A High Maintenance woman doesn’t get second, or for sure, third dates very often. She doesn’t understand why and neither does he. What’s going on is she’s unaware of the most powerful strategy for getting and keeping a man’s interest.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

KaraOh

Dating Coach, Relationship Coach, Sex CoachFrom my heart to yours, Kara The Heart Whisperer™
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by KaraOh:

6 Steps To Get Over Your Ex [EXPERT]

By

A woman wrote to me today asking for some guidance. She said she was having difficulty moving on after breaking up with her boyfriend, even though the relationship wasn't working. /node/100978 One thing I know about moving on is that you can't remove something without putting something else in it's place. The void needs to be filled. I'm a ... Read more

How Feminism Harms Women

By

I got a note from a woman who said she’s a Feminist and not interested in what I teach about how to have a deeply loving relationship with a good man. But she was searching for help in the relationship arena, which tells me it’s not going the way she’d like. Duh! What this kind of woman doesn’t realize is that she’s sacrificing ... Read more

Do You Want Your Ex Back? [EXPERT]

By

It’s a common scenario. He breaks up with you, then BAM!, he’s immediately in a new relationship. But you’re still in love with him because not enough time has gone by for you to let go. I know you’re hurting, for a variety of reasons. One of the most powerful is the loss of the dream. When we fall in love we begin to see how a ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Beauty

Wired and Tired?

Do you know in our constant state of connecting, we have forgotten how to take it easy and just be?

Press Conference

DeMistyfy Your Dating: Radio Interview: [EXPERT]

And yes, we spelled it that way for a reason! Listen to this humorous interview of Spike and learn!

Running Woman

Post-Divorce Growth…After They Go, Grow [EXPERT]

Identify your positive changes post-divorce. Make it a growth experience!

Have a dating or relationship question?
Ask it here and one of our experts will answer it.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
FROM OUR PARTNERS