The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

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The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

In all matters of making love to a woman, it’s especially effective to tease and tantalize her, allowing her arousal to build. Men generally get aroused with little or no help but it usually takes a lot more for a woman. When I was teaching my workshops on sexuality I always asked the women what advice they’d like me to pass along to the men. Invariably, they would all say, “Tell them to slow down.” And after you think you’ve slowed down, meaning how long you take moving from one thing to another, slow down some more. Then ask if you’re taking the time she’d like. You’d be surprised how much more she’ll want.

Before giving a woman oral pleasure always be sure you have a really close shave. Whiskers on her clitoris can cause her to lose her arousal, just like teeth on your penis, or worse, imagine sandpaper. Yikes!

Some women are shy about allowing you to pleasure them in this way. They worry that they might not smell good. Tell her you like her scent, if you do, but to help alleviate her concern offer to pleasure her when you know she’s freshly showered.

Another way to alleviate her worries, make bathing a part of the entire experience by showering together. Soap up your hand, then wash her very slowly, sensuously, going inside the folds of her labia (see photo below) but never into her vagina. The soap will cause problems for her. Let her know how much it’s turning you on.

After she’s rinsed off and still standing in the bathroom, get on your knees and pleasure her with your tongue for a few moments, giving her something to look forward to. Dry her and guide her to the bed, or wherever you intend to seduce her.

Now you’re in bed with her. Before you go anywhere near her genitals most women really need lots of passionate kisses. Kissing is the most intimate thing two people can do because it’s not just body parts and sensations but a connection of souls. Women enjoy making love the most when that connection is felt. By the way, this goes for any kind of lovemaking. It’s an important element of slowing down.

After kissing a while, move to her neck and very slowly, continue working your way down, kissing her breasts, her belly, the inside of her thighs, the back of her knees, the inside of her lower legs, her feet… even suck and lick her toes if you like. She might be surprised but it could be very exciting for her. Remember to take your time, that you’re teasing her to build up her arousal and the feelings of wanting you.

Now, when you get to her “triangle of light,”(her pubic area) what is called her “yoni” in Sanskrit, touch and kiss her all around it but don’t touch it except occasionally brushing across her clitoris and labia as if by “accident.” The goal is to make her crazy with wanting you to “get on with it.” (By the way, this works fabulously well for any kind of lovemaking, not just oral. That’s the slow down thing. If you know how to get her begging for it, you’re an outstanding lover.)

With an extremely light touch inside the thighs and anywhere she’s let you know she likes it, stroke her skin with your fingertips. For this to be most effective, brush her skin as lightly as you possibly can, as if your fingertips were feathers. If she doesn’t say it in words she’ll tell you with wiggles or moans of pleasure.

Now for the fun. Begin to kiss and lick her clitoris. Explore her amazing woman-parts. Occasionally move away and kiss and lick her thighs.

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