The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

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The Art of Cunnilingus — Oral Sex for Her

In all matters of making love to a woman, it’s especially effective to tease and tantalize her, allowing her arousal to build. Men generally get aroused with little or no help but it usually takes a lot more for a woman. When I was teaching my workshops on sexuality I always asked the women what advice they’d like me to pass along to the men. Invariably, they would all say, “Tell them to slow down.” And after you think you’ve slowed down, meaning how long you take moving from one thing to another, slow down some more. Then ask if you’re taking the time she’d like. You’d be surprised how much more she’ll want.

Before giving a woman oral pleasure always be sure you have a really close shave. Whiskers on her clitoris can cause her to lose her arousal, just like teeth on your penis, or worse, imagine sandpaper. Yikes!

Some women are shy about allowing you to pleasure them in this way. They worry that they might not smell good. Tell her you like her scent, if you do, but to help alleviate her concern offer to pleasure her when you know she’s freshly showered.

Another way to alleviate her worries, make bathing a part of the entire experience by showering together. Soap up your hand, then wash her very slowly, sensuously, going inside the folds of her labia (see photo below) but never into her vagina. The soap will cause problems for her. Let her know how much it’s turning you on.

After she’s rinsed off and still standing in the bathroom, get on your knees and pleasure her with your tongue for a few moments, giving her something to look forward to. Dry her and guide her to the bed, or wherever you intend to seduce her.

Now you’re in bed with her. Before you go anywhere near her genitals most women really need lots of passionate kisses. Kissing is the most intimate thing two people can do because it’s not just body parts and sensations but a connection of souls. Women enjoy making love the most when that connection is felt. By the way, this goes for any kind of lovemaking. It’s an important element of slowing down.

After kissing a while, move to her neck and very slowly, continue working your way down, kissing her breasts, her belly, the inside of her thighs, the back of her knees, the inside of her lower legs, her feet… even suck and lick her toes if you like. She might be surprised but it could be very exciting for her. Remember to take your time, that you’re teasing her to build up her arousal and the feelings of wanting you.

Now, when you get to her “triangle of light,”(her pubic area) what is called her “yoni” in Sanskrit, touch and kiss her all around it but don’t touch it except occasionally brushing across her clitoris and labia as if by “accident.” The goal is to make her crazy with wanting you to “get on with it.” (By the way, this works fabulously well for any kind of lovemaking, not just oral. That’s the slow down thing. If you know how to get her begging for it, you’re an outstanding lover.)

With an extremely light touch inside the thighs and anywhere she’s let you know she likes it, stroke her skin with your fingertips. For this to be most effective, brush her skin as lightly as you possibly can, as if your fingertips were feathers. If she doesn’t say it in words she’ll tell you with wiggles or moans of pleasure.

Now for the fun. Begin to kiss and lick her clitoris. Explore her amazing woman-parts. Occasionally move away and kiss and lick her thighs. This will make her a little bit crazy, but it will help build up her arousal and her need for you.

Moving back to her yoni, use your tongue to investigate and pleasure her in every possible place. Her wiggles and moans will tell you you’re doing it just right. Take mental notes for the next time. Each woman is a little different and you want to know exactly what gives this lovely creature the most pleasure.

When most women are getting close to orgasm, they need a fairly constant stimulation of their clitoris, sometimes for several minutes. Here’s something that will really work well. When she’s totally lost in what you’ve been doing, take her clitoris in your mouth, sucking ever-so-gently and as you’re sucking, flick your tongue back and forth. If you keep that going, she’ll explode in a rapture she’s never experienced before.

Here’s something that works really well for some women. See if it works for yours. While she’s getting closer to coming, but not there yet, stop stimulating her clitoris and kiss her belly, labia, thighs… then when you go back to her clitoris, it will be even more intense and make her come bigger and quicker. Some women may scream, “DON’T STOP!!!” She’ll let you know if this technique works for her or not. Either way, don’t go away for very long or she’ll lose her arousal and she will be one unhappy camper.

For many women, pleasuring her orally is the only way they can experience an orgasm. Or it’s the easiest way for them to get there. If that’s the case, do this often or resentment will build up that you don’t care about her needs and only care about your own. If you give her this gift on a regular basis, she won’t mind not having an orgasm every time you make love. Neglect her needs and she’ll mind a lot. Eventually she’ll lose interest entirely. I doubt that you want that. A well satisfied woman is an enthusiastic lover. THAT, I’m pretty certain, you do want.

From my heart to yours,
Kara Oh

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