Community Blog: 5 Reasons She Won't Write You Back

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Community Blog: 5 Reasons She Won't Write You Back

Too often I hear men complaining that women won't respond to their online dating profile or call them back. They get frustrated, and take down their cyberdating profile without realizing what they have done wrong.

Here are my top 5 reasons why your email may end up in the trash bin and ways for you to correct it.

1. No Profile Photo.
It's fine for a woman to be a bit mysterious, but women do not view your missing photo as a challenge. They will think you are hiding something or are hideous looking. Upload your photo if you want to increase your response rate.

2. Suggesting a Late Night Date. I know of a gentleman who left a voicemail for a woman he had written to three weeks earlier. The message said that he'd be in her neighborhood "tonight" and would like to meet at "9:00 pm." Regardless of what he was doing earlier in the evening, she pushed delete and conveniently lost his number. If you are interested in meeting someone, a first date shouldn't start at 9:00pm. A woman will likely surmise that someone else was for dinner, and she would be dessert. Suggest a mutually convenient time or she will assume you are her booty call.

3. Repeat Offender.
You found the perfect profile among the millions of single women online. You write to her. She doesn't respond within 24 hours. You write again the next day and ask her why she didn't write back. Patience is a virtue and the best things in life are worth waiting for. Some singles are just busy with work or other activities and don't log on daily. A woman will consider you needy and put you on the bottom of her list. If you really think she is worth pursuing, wait a week or two and write again.

4. You Wrote a Novel. Statistically, shorter profiles get read more often. If you compile a lengthy tale of your entire life story and your dream date, it's a turn-off to most women. Novels are made for publishing houses. A profile should be a snapshot to pique her curiosity.

5. The Ex-Factor. If you graduate to a phone call from someone you met online, don't ask questions about her previous relationships or complain about your difficult divorce. Keep your first conversation light and get a date on the calendar.

Cyber-Dating Expert Julie Spira is  online dating coach and the author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com

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Julie Spira

Dating Coach

Julie Spira is a top online dating expert, bestselling author, dating advice columnist and coach, and media personality.  She's the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online and is writing The Rules of Netiquette: How to Mind Your Digital Manners. Julie's been featured and quoted over 500 times in the news for her expertise on online dating and relationships including ABC News, BBC, CBS CNN, Cosmpolitan, E! Entertainment, ELLE, FOX, Galtime, Glamour, iVillage, Los Angeles Times, Mashable, Men's Fitness, Men's Health, New York Post, New York Times, Psychology Today, WIRED and Woman's Day. Her dating advice has appeared on eHarmony, JDate, Match, and Zoosk. Visit Cyber-Dating Expert.com and share your online dating stories. Follow Julie on Twitter @JulieSpira and Like Julie on Facebook.

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Location: Los Angeles, CA
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