It’s a date, not a deposition.
Have you ever put your foot in your mouth and regretted saying something to a woman on a first date? If so, you’re not alone.
From time to time, I listen to my female clients complain about that one thing a guy said on the date that turned them off so much, they would not consider giving him a second chance.
If you want to know exactly what women dislike, you're in the right place.
These are the 10 things you should NEVER say to a woman on a first date:
1. Are those really your breasts?
Sure we know that men are physical and that they undress women with their eyes when they first meet. That’s fine. Regardless of whether she’s wearing a terrific push-up bra or went under the knife, avoid any comments about a woman’s breasts. Even if you believe it’s innocent, women do not.
2. I have a body like a Ferrari.
Don’t laugh, but one gentleman wanted to prove to his date why he should be considered as younger than his accurate age that was posted on his online dating profile. While waiting in line for coffee, he described in great detail about his athletic abilities and work-out schedule at the gym. As soon as she heard him compare himself to a Ferrari, she wanted to go home.
3. I’ve been on this site too long.
We know that online dating is a numbers game, but if you haven’t met anyone online in years that led to a significant relationship, either you’re a serial dater or are way too picky. Either way, a woman will not think you are relationship material.
4. What exactly are you looking for in a relationship?
It’s just a first date. Keep the conversation light and easy. If a woman asked a man the same question, he’d run off in a New York minute. Women, like men, don’t like the pressure either. It’s a date, not a deposition.
5. I don’t believe in marriage.
Although a woman isn’t ordering her bridal gown on a first date, more often than not, she hopes the relationship will go the distance if there’s a spark. If you tell her you have commitment problems, she won’t want to be the one to change you.
6. I’ll call you.
Don’t say you’re going to call to be polite. Women don’t buy the line of “I’ll call you.” It’s simple, but true when they say that actions do speak louder than words.
If you’re truly interested, pull out your iPhone and put another date on the calendar at the end of your first date. It will give you both something to look forward to and will show that you are a man of your word.
7. You’re so hot.
You will think it, but find another way to compliment her. If she looks sexy, tell her you like her dress, shiny hair, or smile. Flatter from the neck up only before you get into the bedroom. “Hot” means “sex” right now to a woman. She may prefer being courted a little bit longer.
8. I had a vasectomy.
Does she really need to know on the first date? Unless she makes a point of representing that she’s looking for children, she’ll think you want to have sex without a condom. Not acceptable.
9. I’m best friends with my ex.
We’re happy there wasn’t a War of the Roses style divorce, but she won’t want to be lower on the totem pole than your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend in the long term. She’ll be happy if you set appropriate boundaries.
10. Do you want to split the check?
Yes, dating can be expensive and doesn’t have a money-back guarantee. If it’s your first date, a man should pick up the check. It’s just the way it works in the dating world.
You don’t need to pick the swankiest spot in town, but don’t expect her to date you again if its “Dutch” treat. She has plenty of friends to go out with that fit into that category.
Feel free to contribute your comments on the inappropriate things that both men and women have said on a date. Singles truly do want to know what they did wrong when they scratch their heads and wonder why their phone numbers become permanently deleted from our PDA.
Julie Spira is dating and relationship expert. She is the author of the bestseller, The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Follow her on Twitter @JulieSpira. Like her at Facebook.com/CyberDatingExpert. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for more dating advice.