WOW! That really hurts. When you have great expectations of a long term relationship and lasting love, you feel good about yourself and confident in the future. Then you get the dreaded Dear John/Jane letter or the Pink slip at work and immediately go from the heights of excitement to the depths of disappointment. Being dumped can change your life and confidence in an instant.
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You are crushed and broken-hearted. You question your judgment, your intelligence, your inner beauty and your outer appearance. Your self-esteem, which was never rock solid, takes a nose dive.
That is really bad news. I mean it. I know how you feel because I have felt that way myself and I found myself focusing not only that disappointment, but ever other miserable mistake I had ever made.
I had to really work to remind myself that the situation was temporary and I had the power to change the end of the story.
Have you ever been kicked in the teeth like that?
All of us have been dumped by somebody or something at some point in our lives. Some of us are more comfortable with our failures and mistakes in judgment than with our successes. Just like me wallowing in the disappointment, many people continue to stay in the mud and disappointment rather than getting up when they have been knocked down.
Life is like a roller coaster, continually going up and down. Sometimes accidents happen. Sometimes we sabotage ourselves and are our own worst enemies.
Sometimes we get hit with a series of blows, physical and emotional, that can almost devastate us.
No matter how bad the situation is we always have choices.
6 kicks in the fanny
Here are some ideas to kick you in the fanny and get you back on the road to your highest good.
1. Write down your disappointments. Getting your problems on paper is very therapeutic. Many people feel that if they ignore the problem it will go away. It won’t. It will simply fester in your imagination until it takes a distorted form. There is a great weight lifted from your shoulders and spirit when you take time to think about what happened rather than pretending it never happened.
2. Tell the truth. Be brutally honest without beating yourself up. Don’t forget getting dumped can throw you off balance and mess with your point of view. Don’t add meaning and importance to the events, but be truthful about what happened.
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3. QTIP- Quit Taking It Personally. Sometimes things happen and it really has nothing to do with you personally. You are going to feel the ramifications, but it is basically not about you personally. It is important to accept the fact that even your mistakes or failures are not an accurate measure of who you are and what you are capable of.
4. Acknowledge where you are. You can never solve a problem until you acknowledge that you have one and accept the personal responsibility for solving it.