Hint: It has NOTHING to do with the way you look.
When you want to know how to stop binge eating so you can lose weight, feel great and attract the man of your dreams, it can feel super frustrating when you can't seem to stop no matter what you do.
Hopefully, it will bring you some comfort to know that you're not alone in your overeating and overweight struggles. The CDC's latest statistics show that 71 percent of adults over the age of 20 in the United States are currently either overweight or obese.
Yes! Over seventy percent of the adults in the U.S. also struggle with overeating and being overweight, and I bet you can imagine how much of that is also fueled by out-of-control binge eating, too!
While it doesn't help that you can easily find your favorite binge foods 24/7 at any corner convenience store, there's a lot more behind the behavior of binge eating than that.
If the root cause of your own binge eating behavior was identified and healed, you wouldn't feel the need to leave your house to buy those foods you binge on. It simply wouldn't occur to you to do that if the real root of the real problem were healed.
Because the real problem is never the food.
For many women, on top of the guilt and frustration they feel about their extra weight and impulsive binge eating, there is an added anxiety-producing factor. Men.
Like these women, you'd probably love to meet the man of your dreams — a high-quality, intelligent, fit, fun and sexy guy! A man you could experience a wonderful, healthy, loving relationship with. A man with whom you'll share such a deep, mutual connection with that you of two won't be able to imagine life without each other.
This can be especially difficult, though, because, in order to attract a man like that, you have to have your own ducks in a row first.
The problem is that this knowledge you have that you have some serious work to do on yourself can actually fuel the negative cycle — leading to more binge eating — just because you'd like to attract that awesome guy NOW.
I get it!
I understand how easy it is to turn to food when you feel so deeply disappointed by the experiences you've had while trying to meet that awesome guy.
Can you see how these topics of your eating, your weight, and your desire for the relationship all tie in together to feed the destructive cycle of binge eating?
But you don't want to stay in this cycle, right?
You want to break out of it so that you can:
- Stop binge eating.
- Lose weight for good.
- Feel GREAT about yourself and your body.
- Create a healthy relationship with food.
- Learn how to be in control of you instead of letting food be in control.
- And, ultimately, attract the man of your dreams.
Imagine how you'll feel when you achieve all of the above.
What if you could accomplish the first 5 of those 6 goals in a short amount of time so that you'll soon be ready to move towards the final step of meeting that man of your dreams?
You can begin by taking a look at five ways binge eating makes it harder than ever to find love because you must know where you're starting from before you can get where you want to be.
It's important to note that binge eating behavior is so heavily infused with shame and guilt that many of us have a hard time doing the work of uncovering their root issues. When you avoid the step of coming to awareness of where you are now, it is almost impossible to move forward. In trying to protect yourself from the pain of self-discovery, you only remain stuck in destructive patterns that keep you isolated and protected from the very thing you want the most — your ideal relationship with your ideal man.
Put simply, you cannot change what you refuse to be made aware of!
Here are 5 ways binge eating makes it harder than ever to find love to get you started on the process of increasing your own self-awareness.
1. Binge eating is a secret behavior.
You'd never sit in public and binge eat that box of donuts, would you? Nope, binge eating is done in secret. And in order to have a healthy relationship with a man, you can't create healthy communication based on a foundation of secrecy.
To attract a healthy, high quality, lasting relationship with the man of your dreams you need to be open and honest with yourself first. If you hate yourself because you can't stop eating, it's pretty difficult to attract an awesome man who is healthy in mind and body.
Just like you want a man with self-confidence and self-respect, he wants someone who is in love with herself and in love with her body. YOU can be that woman.
You just have to begin moving towards becoming her now.
2. You'd never tell a new boyfriend about your binge eating secret.
No one likes to tell other people things about themselves they don't feel proud of. So you'd probably never consider telling a new man over a romantic date that you can't control yourself when you're home alone with a half gallon of ice cream. You'd be afraid he run for the hills!
Once the root of this problem is fixed you'll have so many things in life to be proud of, including the fit, healthy, slender body you'll be living in! Then you'll have nothing to hide from the amazing man you'll meet.
Binge eating is NOT a life sentence — unless you choose to keep it in your life.
I've seen too many people think they've healed their binge eating for good, then threw in the towel within 8 weeks or less. They were shocked because they'd been struggling with binge eating since adolescence and had "tried it all" in their attempts to fix their problem before working with me.
You too can end your binge eating. You just need the right help to do it.
3. You feel shame and embarrassment about your out-of-control binge eating behavior.
Shame is the lowest emotion you can ever feel. It's even lower than fear and depression.
Take a look at how often you feel really bad about the way you eat.
Do you feel bad every day because you can't stop eating?
Do you feel embarrassed about your weight because you've bought more than 20 diet books and still can't stop stuffing yourself?
I know how all of that feels because I've been there before myself!
The healthy relationship you want with the man of your dreams is not one that includes a heavy vibration of shame and embarrassment. Your ideal man is all about feeling good, and he wants to feel good with you!
He wants you to be happy, too, and while you haven't met him yet, he's pulling for you. He wants you to be whole and in love with yourself, and that doesn't include feeling embarrassed about compulsive overeating.
This is really about moving from shame to self-love in by releasing binge eating behaviors that feel bad to you.
4. You look forward to alone time so you can eat whatever you want.
If you want to meet an amazing man, you need to be willing to get out and be social. After all, would you be happy finding a man who wants to do nothing but sit on the couch with you and eat pizza, chips, donuts and beer day in and day out for the rest of your lives? I'm guessing you probably wouldn't consider that to be a healthy relationship.
Once the root of your binge eating is healed you'll find yourself looking forward to no longer holing up with your food, because you'll be free of the struggle.
5. You already have a boyfriend — your favorite binge foods.
Another way binge eating makes it harder than ever to find love is that it leaves no room in your life for another relationship because that space is already filled by your current boyfriend — food.
I realize this might sound weird, but when you become aware of the amount of mental time you spend thinking about food, about what you ate, about how you feel about what you ate, about all of the time that you spend thinking about what you want to eat and what you shouldn't eat but what you want to eat anyway ... whew!
This is really how it goes in your mind, though, isn't it?
When you become aware of the amount of time you spend driving to get the food, buying the food, eating the food and thinking about the food, where is the space or time for the healthy, fit, amazing man of your dreams?
You free up that heavy, negative mind-space when you release your binge eating behavior.
Your ideal relationship begins with yourself.
In order to most easily attract your ideal relationship, you must first become your best self. This isn't limited to getting to your best weight but includes being your best self in mind, in body, in relationship with food and in relationship with yourself.
You really can become this best version of you — and it doesn't take that long to do it!
My coaching clients permanently release their binge eating in 8 weeks or less, which is super fast when you consider that for many people, the root of this behavior takes hold around 7 to 12 years of age.
The first step is to reach an awareness, which you have hopefully found here.
The more you can become aware of where you are, the more quickly you can move forward towards taking the first step to becoming the ideal YOU who truly loves herself.
The YOU who is at her ideal weight.
The YOU who doesn't binge eat.
The YOU who lives in harmony with food and with her weight.
Just imagine how you would feel if you were already there. Wouldn't that feel amazing?!
Permanent weight loss coach JoLynn Braley coaches smart successful women to struggle-free weight loss in 8 weeks or less, ending their emotional eating and any other unhealthy behaviors that have been standing in their way of losing weight forever. Click here to grab JoLynn's free 5-day e-course and start learning more now!