Have you ever been in involved with a guy you thought was "the one"? In the beginning, and even for the first few months everyhting was great...or so you thought.
Then all of a sudden, the sun burst and the happiness facade soon dissipated into the ethers. And once the dust settled and you took off the rose colored glasses you realized that Mr. Right was Mr. Wrong right from the beginning.
Yes, you had some great times and the sex was amazing but upon further reflection you see that the really important things were missing. He was clearly showing you that he wasn't there for you emotionally and the truth is that guy that you were so hung up on was selfish, immature and emotionally unavailable. Right?
You now have two choices. You can spend the rest of your days cursing Mr. Wrong and all men like him....or....you can learn from that experience and see what needs to be different the next time you are interested in a guy.
Contrary to popular belief I believe that most guys are pretty transparent and will show you, right from the beginning if they are a good fit for you. The problem for most women is that they are so intoxicated by the infatuation stage and the associated rush of hormones that they neglect to see the red flags which are waving right in front of their face.
The good news is that even the most emotional woman can learn to recognize the 3 signs which indicate that a guy is emotionally available and ready for a relationship.
My suggestion is that if you don't see all three right from the beginning there is only one thing for you to do....RUN!
1) Respects ALL Women- there's an expression that says "if you want to know what kind of husband a guy will be look at his relationship with his mother." Well, I believe that a guy who is well suited for marriage will have healthy relationships with all the women in his life, not just his mom.
So, when you are getting to know a new guy look at the way he treats women and the way he talks about them. If you start to see consistent signs of disrespect just realize thaat you will soon be one of those women he will be disrespecting
2) Accepts the Past and Talks about His Future - If you're dating a guy and he openly talks about his past without spewing venom for his ex and all those women who scorned him it is a sign that the guy is baggage free and emotionally ready. A guy who fails to talk about his past and who coninues to point the finger and blame his ex is not the kind of guy you want to get involved with. At this stage in the game everyone has a past filled with a bunch of mistakes but those who continue to focus on their past are not well suited to be your relationship partner.
A man who is relationhip material will have no problem letting you know what his goals are for his future (relationship and otherwise).
3) Consistency - The telltale sign which will indicate if a guy is well suited to be your relationship partner is the consistency of his words and actions. If a guy values you and really wants a relationship with you he will show you day in and day out by his words but more imporantly by his actions. As the old expression says..."actions speak louder than words."
By observing and noticing these top 3 signs you will be able to quickly decipher when a guy is worth pursuing and when he's not. The biggest challenge most single women face is letting their emotions cloud their judgment. By following these guidelines you will be better prepared to manage your emotions so you can make the choice that you know is right in your heart.
And by doing this, dating will not only become much easier, you will greatly increase your chances that your next relationship is a great one!
Joe Amoia, The Smarter Dating Guy, is the founder and creator of SmaterDatingForWomen.com. For more information, visit him online, and while there, make sure to grab a free copy of his latest e-book, The ABCs Of Smarter Dating; 26 Tips & Strategies to Immediately Improve Your Love Life!