How To Let Your Guard Down Without Getting Hurt


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If the greatest guy in the world showed up at your door, would you let him in?

In love, heartbreak is par for the course. Still, its impact can be severe. Sometimes it even compromises a person's ability to find love.

For many women, the devastation of getting hurt goes back to childhood. If you did not get the love and support you desired from your family, it can deeply affect your ability to openly love and trust a man. Even if the greatest guy in the world showed up on your doorstep you wouldn't allow him into your heart because of the emotional wall you have built. This wall serves as a protective barrier designed to prevent you from having your heart broken again. The wall serves its purpose in protecting you from the guys who will hurt you again but unfortunately the wall makes it impossible for the good guys to find their way to your heart.


When I am working with a woman who has a wall up, I do not recommend she knocks it down. It would be foolish to remove any barrier which is protecting you from being hurt. After all, there are a lot of guys out there who have ulterior motives and who will take advantage women the first chance they get. So, instead of knocking the wall down I recommend you replace it with a fence. Is Monogamy Too Much To Expect?

A fence serves a healthier purpose. It is a filtration system. It is keeps out the unwanted visitors and allows those who are invited onto the premises. A well built fence allows you to open yourself up to the good guys while keeping the bad guys away. It's the best of both worlds.

Unfortunately, even the best fence will allow the occasional, uninvited guest to get past it. That's where a strategically-located comes in handy. It screens the intruders and helps you recognize who is worthy of staying and who should be kicked off the property.

This is the exact mindset I recommend for women who desire love but struggle because they were hurt in the past.

There is an inherent risk in dating that causes many women to put up a wall. But, if you put up a well-placed fence instead, and you learn to monitor your security system, you will see that finding and having the man and relationship that you desire is much easier than you ever could have imagined. How To Overcome Your Fear Of Commitment

If you notice that your emotional wall is preventing the good guys from getting to your heart and you would like to learn how to replace it with a fence instead I invite you to check out And while you're there you can download a free copy of my e-book, The ABC's of Smarter Dating: 26 Tips & Strategies to Immediately Improve Your Love Life.

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Joe Amoia

Dating Coach

Dr. Joe Amoia, is the founder and creator of Smarter Dating For Women And The Ultimate Relationship Program. He is also the author of the soon to be published book, Smarter Dating For Women.

Dr. Joe's unique approach to dating and realtionships is based on his 5 Step Relationship Success Formula, The same formula he used to find & meet his wife in less than 90 days.

To receive a copy of his free 5 day mini-ecourse, The 5 Biggest Mistakes Women Make in Dating Men click here

Location: Hillsdale, NJ
Credentials: DO
Specialties: Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Matchmaking, Other
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