3 Tips To Avoid The Dreaded Friend Zone

By

male female platonic friends
Don't make the same mistakes I made.

I recently went on a "date" with a friend's cousin. We hit it off, but whether it was romantic or platonic was unclear. At the end of our drawn out lunch, I pondered our chemistry with optimism and looked forward to our next date ... that is, until I received a follow-up text a few hours later that read: "I had a great time. It was really nice talking to you, and now I've decided to try online dating. Can you help me with my profile?"

... not exactly music to a single girl's ears. So, I offered my advice and consequently find myself firmly rooted in the friend zone of someone who might have been so much more. Here's what I should have done differently:

1. Don't do lunch. There is something about getting dressed up at night that sets a tone for romance that even the best of lunch dates simply cannot do. Save your day dates for your real friends and your first dates for after dark.

2. Don't divulge too much. This seems like a no-brainer, but in the right company, it may feel instantly comfortable to fill the pleasant stranger sitting across from you in with intimate details of your romantic history. Resist this temptation — no matter what.

3. Don't be too nice. A counselor by nature, I easily fell into Dear Abby mode with my most recent "date," and as a result encouraged hearing more details than I cared to regarding his next romantic conquest. I should have coyly turned the conversation around the first time he asked, but in an effort to be nice and agreeable, I didn't. So, unless you prefer to live your dating life like a bad Taylor Swift Song, take my advice and avoid giving your own.

Even if you do find yourself driving down the platonic road with someone you wish you were dating, don't be afraid to declare your desire for a detour. You never know, they could be waiting and hoping for the very same change.

More dating advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Jodi The Hopefull Romantic

Author

The Hopefull Romantic

www.thehopefullromantic.com

Location: -----, NJ
Credentials: MA
Other Articles/News by Jodi The Hopefull Romantic:

Don't Take Your Selfie Too Seriously

By

The attack of the selfie is everywhere.  Social Media, family sitcoms and commercials have jumped on the self-indulgent bandwagon — heck there is even a hit song out there that features  the following lyrical prose: “I only got 10 likes in the last 5 minutes Do you think I should take it down? Let me take another ... Read more

Ace Your Date Like A Job Interview

By

How many of us go-getters are superstars in our chosen professions but are befuddled by the intricacies of a simple date? The solution is easy, tackle your next date like a job interview— Here's how: 1. Dress the Part— I am not advocating a suit and heels for a casual lunch but what you wear speaks for you before formal communication has ... Read more

The Right Way To Say, “I’m not Interested.”

By

Boy meets girl. Boy promises to call girl. Boy disappears. Sound familiar? Nobody likes this story, yet it is recurring on the bookshelves of our lives everywhere. And this tale knows no gender limits. Girls are ignoring their perplexed dates at high frequencies too because it is all too easy for all of us to pretend our dates’ feelings have vanished ... Read more

See More

PARTNER POSTS
Latest Expert Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Most Popular