According to the Marriage Foundation, 45 percent of marriages between first-timers are destined for the divorce courts, but just 31 percent of second weddings will end in failure.
But is it true that people tying the knot for the second time are more likely to find happiness? This topic is one that is near and dear to my heart: I counsel couples and individuals on relationship issues and I am also a member of the Second Marriage Club. I remember when I first met some of my husband's friends, one raised his glass and toasted me by saying, "To second marriages—they're the best!" Below are four reasons I think he's right:
1. Practice makes perfect. Second marriages enjoy the benefit of experience. Certainly, there is a time of adjustment, as there would be for any kind of change, but people in second marriages already "know the ropes," especially when it comes to the logistics of sharing and running a home. People in second marriages know what works and what doesn't. They know how to pick and choose battles. They have, at the very least, a basic understanding of effective communication and conflict resolution. With all of these factors combined, second marriages can be a real recipe for success.
2. Both spouses have a deeper understanding of themselves. Second marriages get to reap the rewards of one or both parties having spent a large amount of time on personal reflection and growth. We don’t begin a second marriage without experiencing the end of a first marriage—and endings are often painful. However, many remarried people have allowed this pain to bring their attention inward, thus setting in motion a journey of personal discovery, healing and change. One of my clients put it like this, "My second marriage works, because I was really honest with myself about my role in the demise of my first marriage—and my own baggage!" Second marriages are often happier marriages, because people have learned to not repeat their mistakes. Keep reading...
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