You probably know the man who always complains about his unhappy relationship – about how down he is or the stress it causes him. Or maybe you’ve been with him. But the question most women ask is – if he’s so unhappy, why is he staying with her?
It is a good question. Unfortunately, it’s a little trickier to answer. And in some cases, the reason for why men stay in unhappy relationships may be similar to the reason women stay in unhappy relationships. But there are other reasons that women may not suspect.
It should come as no surprise that having a beautiful wife/girlfriend is important for a man. A gorgeous girl on his arm is a trophy – something he can show off to friends, co-workers, family, and anyone who generally has eyes. Having an attractive woman by his side also does something very important for his ego – it validates him. If she’s attractive, he feels like a king of the hunt. Even if he may feel as though he’s lacking in other areas, an attractive mate will boost his confidence. So, if she makes him unhappy, he becomes an economist – does he value her beauty more than his own relationship happiness? In many cases, men will briefly take the side of beauty – it just seems the natural course. And if she may be a bit out of his league, he’ll be willing to put up with the misery in order to still feel that boost of confidence at the end of the day.
Men can be sentimental sometimes. And they can certainly be sentimental when it comes to relationships. If a man has been with a woman a long time, or has shared intimate moments with her, then he will feel a deep fidelity and loyalty to the idea of the relationship. This means that he’ll keep thinking that the relationship is like it was years or months ago, instead of looking at the relationship as it is. He will stay in the relationship primarily to relive the good times. He is unable to let go of an idea he had of the girl he was with, and thus be stuck in a cycle of unhappiness.
This is more than just a little important to men. Sometimes, men will stay in an unhappy relationship because it’s an easy avenue to sex – he doesn’t have to go elsewhere to look for it, and he doesn’t have to worry about why he isn’t getting any. But then, he can also stay in an unhappy relationship if the sex is especially good. If the girl is causing him stress most of the time, but she brings something extra to the bedroom, he’s going to be thinking about that just as much as he is thinking about how unhappy she makes him. Just as sex is a reason why men leave relationships, it can be a reason to stay in one – even if he’s unhappy.
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