The One Problem With Being His Booty Call

Well first let's define Booty Call. According to Urbandictionary.com definition numero 2. (The explanation our relationship coaches liked most) breaks it down pretty clear: Booty Call: (noun) a phonecall, page,or conversation aimed at getting into your pants. Not an invite to a movie or dinner, not just coffee, not a casual or formal get-together, just a plain old-fashioned “let’s fuck”

“I woke at 4 a.m. with a massive hard-on. I picked up the phone and gave Ruthie a booty call. I wanted to mount her so very, very much. I had it REAL bad !”

This type of relationship seems to be the ideal situation for most single, hard working career focused men with families and girlfriends. We find nothing wrong with this if you are 100% aware of what you are getting into and can keep your feelings in check. HOWEVER...more often than not feelings sneak up on people in these type of relationships and once the sex act is over it can leave the man and especially the woman feeling like there is something missing. Now if un-attached dick is the fix you truly want then there are plenty of pickings out there to choose from but you must ask yourself some very honest questions. Why do I want sex without love, and committment? Is it because I want to fulfill my sexual needs or is it because I am tired of being hurt by men and this is a sure fire way to not let them in....no pun intended. Well, maybe it is.

The act of sex is very bonding whether you realize this or not. The very future of planet earth lies in those fluids.  It is not just about the exchange of bodily fluids but there is also an exchange of energy as well. Mix this with scientific data that supports how hormones are produced during sex that creates bonds and you are quite certain to have a recipe for emotional attachment mainly on the woman's part. This is why you will hear alot of women say "Why can't I leave him alone when I know he's no good for me?"

Here's what our relationship coaches dug up. According to the following article on LiveScience.com "In women, oxytocin is released. It's a chemical that makes women want to nurture their young and stay close. Men get a huge jolt of testosterone, which suppresses oxytocin, and that's nature's way of saying, 'Leave the nest and go sire offspring somewhere else.' So when women think they can have sex and walk away just like guys do, they're having to suppress thousands of years of evolution that tells them to cuddle."

Now we know what some of you ladies are going to say, which is that it happens to guys as well. Yes you are correct, but with men it is not as hormonal and has more to do with their attraction, lust and how you make them feel. Where as with women there is an invisible bond that is being created. If you are having amazing sex being his Booty Call over and over and over again you are sure to sing the blues once he finds his ideal mate and stops seeing you.

Now this unique relationship will be all fine with you until your Booty Call meets The Woman Of His Dreams. (HowToGetTheWomanOfYourDreams.com launching soon!) So without judgement we understand the need and desire for Booty Calls, but we want to educate you and help you understand that these situations do not always have the most positive outcomes. Someone typically gets their feelings hurt and is left with a broken heart and they will usually ask themselves "How in the hell did this happen to me when all I wanted was just sex?" You have the oxytocin to thank for this. Hopefully this article will help you out and for those who are looking for late night Booty Calls...you've been warned. 

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Relationship Coach

Simon S.