An Open Letter To Anthony Weiner's Sexting Partners

By

An Open Letter To Anthony Weiner's Sexting Partners
Anthony Weiner is suffering from sex addiction and you have been traumatized by it.

First of all, I want to acknowledge the pain you're in. You've been hurt by someone in a position of power and then victimized again by our society. I believe Anthony Weiner is suffering from a Level One or Level Two sexual addiction, and you have been traumatized by it. Our society underestimates the danger and the cost of this kind of addiction — and often blames the victim as a way to avoid taking responsibility for the pain it causes, just like the addict does. You've been caught in our culture's systemic "victim blaming" stance, also known as "rape-splaining" and "sl*t-shaming."

I'm a sex addiction coach, and here's how I see it:

Anthony Weiner plainly used his position as a prominent lawmaker to steer political discussions into lewd conversations. He explained his sexual advances by complaining of loneliness when his wife was traveling for work, which unfairly shifted the blame to his wife. He exposed himself to you, which felt like a shocking violation — and later to the world via Twitter. This is a form of exhibitionism.

He took advantage of you, his devotees — and victimized you twice: once by exposing you to unwanted advances and once by exposing you to virulent public criticism. He exploited his political clout to gain your trust because you were in a less powerful position. 

Patrick Carnes, the leading expert on sexual addiction and author of the groundbreaking book, Out of The Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction, refers to this kind of sex-addicted behavior as "indecent calls and liberties" and "exhibitionism." According to Carnes, indecent calls and liberties occur "when the addict calls a woman in order to make suggestive statements, or to ask intrusive or embarrassing sexual questions." Soon, however, efforts to be more explicit about the sexual intrusion can follow. Keep reading...

More sexting advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Hadley Earabino

Life Coach


Hadley Earabino, Certified Life Coach & Sex Therapist
TheLoveLifeCoach | www.thelovelifecoach.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Love-Life-Coach | http://twitter.com/lifebyaphrodite

Location: Decatur, GA
Credentials: BA, CLC
Other Articles/News by Hadley Earabino:

How To Have A Better Breakup (It's Possible!)

By

Breakups are painful — there's no way around that. But there's one sure-fire way to make your breakup even more difficult, and that's trying not to have one when you are. Sound counter-intuitive? Many people deal with a heartbreak by pretending it doesn't exist. That only serves to sweep feelings under the rug, and doesn't allow us to ... Read more

Dating Tips For Women Over 40: Finding Success In Love

By

I asked Lisa Clampitt, co-founder and owner of The Matchmaking Institute, a professional matchmakers trade association based in New York City, for some dating tips for my female clients over 40 who are getting ready to jump back into the dating world. I'm a life coach in Atlanta, so the first thing she suggested was to contact Sarah Kathryn Smith, who ... Read more

How Google Calendar Saved My Marriage

By

I was one rejection away from asking my husband if he'd like to change our Facebook status to "lifelong roommates." But thankfully, Google calendar swooped in with its alarms, sharing functions and color-coded reminders, and saved us. Our new solution? We have newly scheduled weekly marriage appointments, and it has made such a difference in our ... Read more

See More

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

FROM AROUND THE WEB