How To Keep ADHD From Ruining Your Marital Sex Life

By

How To Keep ADHD From Ruining Your Marital Sex Life
Many married couples struggling with ADHD find their sex lives disintegrating: How to prevent this.

Many couples in which one or more partners are struggling with ADHD (Attention Deficity Hyperactivity Disorder) find their sex lives disintegrating. This is because the same ADHD behaviors, compulsions, and coping strategies that send a married couple's relationship into rocky terrain can also get their sex life off track.

Distraction

Distraction and hyperfocus—that is, being distracted by or intensely focused on things other than one's spouse—is one of the main conflicts of ADHD marriages. The ADHD brain is seeking stimulation, and making plans to romance one's all-too-familiar partner can seem like a tedious process, especially when there is so much interesting stuff on television.

Electronic creens are a romantic-energy suck for ADHD marriages, because without controls or limits, the laptop, tablet, or smartphone replaces close-contact activities which might previously have led to intimate conversations, physical touch, and sex. One solution to combating the effect of distraction on marital sex? Carving out time for "marriage activities:" Breakfast meetings, lunch dates, date nights, and weekend getaways are key commitments to make in ADHD marriages. Agree that physical intimacy of some kind—even holding hands or exchanging foot rubs—will happen during these marriage-enriching activities. For more marriage-building ideas, visit my website at TheLoveLifeCoach.com.

Porn

If a computer screen is engrossing, add some people having sex on it and a little ADHD, and it becomes so seductive it can easily become a problem. On one end of the spectrum, there's pornography addiction: Porn use can become such a debilitatingly compulsive behavior that it can lead to job loss, social isolation, and financial meltdown. At the other end is simply problem porn use: a partner's use of pornographic materials becomes a sore spot for their chronically neglected spouse. The solution for porn addiction or compulsion is usually therapy, coaching, or 12-step methods. The solution for problem porn use is an open, honest conversation between partners, in which the neglected partner feels understood and the porn-using partner doesn't feel judged. Agreements can be made to respect each others' privacy, and to attend to each other sexually and romantically. Keep reading...

More married life advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Hadley Earabino

Life Coach


Hadley Earabino, Certified Life Coach & Sex Therapist
TheLoveLifeCoach | www.thelovelifecoach.com
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Love-Life-Coach | http://twitter.com/lifebyaphrodite

Location: Decatur, GA
Credentials: BA, CLC
Other Articles/News by Hadley Earabino:

How To Have A Better Breakup (It's Possible!)

By

Breakups are painful — there's no way around that. But there's one sure-fire way to make your breakup even more difficult, and that's trying not to have one when you are. Sound counter-intuitive? Many people deal with a heartbreak by pretending it doesn't exist. That only serves to sweep feelings under the rug, and doesn't allow us to ... Read more

Dating Tips For Women Over 40: Finding Success In Love

By

I asked Lisa Clampitt, co-founder and owner of The Matchmaking Institute, a professional matchmakers trade association based in New York City, for some dating tips for my female clients over 40 who are getting ready to jump back into the dating world. I'm a life coach in Atlanta, so the first thing she suggested was to contact Sarah Kathryn Smith, who ... Read more

How Google Calendar Saved My Marriage

By

I was one rejection away from asking my husband if he'd like to change our Facebook status to "lifelong roommates." But thankfully, Google calendar swooped in with its alarms, sharing functions and color-coded reminders, and saved us. Our new solution? We have newly scheduled weekly marriage appointments, and it has made such a difference in our ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB