Was that...? Seeing Someone You Know on an Online Dating Site


Was that...? Seeing Someone You Know on an Online Dating Site
What to do when you see someone you know, and don't want to see, on your online dating site.

The other day I had a couple of girlfriends over. We had some wine and laughs and one of my friends pulled up her online dating account to show who had been contacting her (laughs continued). We were scrolling through one of the features where the site suggests people it thinks you may be interested in. A picture of a dark haired, blue-eyed guy that lived about 20 miles away popped up. He looked handsome, normal. But something felt weird, I said, "He looks like Wyatt's friend, the asshole one."

We all gasped in unison as she clicked on to the next photo and confirmed our terror. This guy was the good friend of one of my neighbors. In fact, his very next picture was a picture with him and our mutual friend. We'd seen this guy socially a few times, and those few times made them a few too many.

The first time I met him, I'd thrown a big party and after an introductory chit-chat, he openly told me what I did for a living was "bullshit." He habitually tried to cheat at the games we played, and he threw a tantrum when I caught him and wouldn't let him take the prize. The subsequent times around him, he'd always conveniently forget who I was from the last time I saw him. It felt like the movie "Groundhog's Day" but every time I got to re-meet an asshole. Oh and did I mention he has a fetish for amputees?


To his credit, nowhere in Assholes's profile did he call himself a "nice guy," who "makes friends easily" and is "always fun to be around", but nor did his profile portray the person my friends and I knew him to be-- wait for it-- an asshole.

After we picked apart his profile and and everything he had to say; "He wishes he was athletic and toned! Where's the box for skinny and pasty?"; "Oh look, he's starting his own business! Why doesn't he talk about how he got fired from his job for being a prick?," she emphatically clicked "not interested,"  and we moved on.

Without a doubt there are tons of you who don't want your online dating profiles seen by a particular person; whether it's your ex, a client, a boss, a coworker, family member, or in this case, an asshole acquaintance. Although if history was any indicator, he probably wouldn't remember me or my friend even if he did see her profile, we didn't want to take the chance. So the next day we went back on the site to find his profile and take the measures I knew to protect ourselves.

We couldn't remember his profile name so we did a search using all the details we could remember from the night before. A few pages of guys came up including the face of another acquaintance.


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Gina Stewart

Dating Coach

Gina Stewart is the happy owner of ExpertOnlineDating.com, where she helps daters get more from their online dating experience and getting better dates. Chosen by DatingAdvice.com as one of the 10 Best Online Dating Experts, Expert Online Dating specializes in helping men and women maximize their online dating experiences with knockout profile writing, picture selection, messaging techniques and account management. All expertly crafted to get you out meeting better dates! www.ExpertOnlineDating.com

Location: LA/OC Califonia, CA
Credentials: BS
Specialties: Online Dating
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