Nothing is more tedious than an endless string of first dates that lead to nowhere. If you keep hearing, "I'll call you," but your phone doesn't ring ... it’s time to take your dating game to the next level!
To make it past the first encounter, four things needs to happen. I call them the 4 C’s: Connection, Chemistry, Compatibility, and Curiosity. They go together like this. When you create an emotional connection, you spark a deeper physical chemistry, which gives him time to assess whether there is any personality compatibility, and when there is, he’s naturally curious and can’t wait to see you again.
So here are some ways to ignite that “gotta see you” attitude on your next date.
1. Exude Interest.
Nothing shuts a guy down faster than not being able to tell if you are interested in him. So show your interest with the three magic words, “Tell me more,” while making friendly eye contact and touching him lightly on the hand or shoulder.
2. Be Captivating.
But you can’t just be interested; you also have to be interesting. A great way to captivate his interest is to be unlike every other girl he’s had a first date with. To stand out, arm yourself with some fascinating questions he’s not used to hearing on the first date. This will create engaging conversation that makes you both seem compelling.
3. Have an Opinion.
Oh sure, guys like a girl who’s easygoing and friendly, but they also want to know you have a backbone and will stand up for what you believe in and won’t put up with any crap from him either. Confidence (not aggressiveness or arrogance) is sexy. So whether he’s asking about what restaurant, which movie, or your political standing, avoid the “whatever you like” trap. State your honest opinion and allow him to meet your needs, too.
4. Radiate Passion.
Day to day life can be a little mind-numbing, so when you come along and excitedly share something meaningful that you're passionate about, you’ll light up and create a sense of aliveness between you. So don’t be shy, share what matters most to you and why. Then ask him what he’s most passionate about too. The extra energy this generates will create magnetic attraction.
5. Convey Graciousness.
Talk isn’t all that matters. He’s watching your every move to see who you really are. And what he really wants is a partner who's great to come home to after a stressful day. So show him how supportive and friendly you are by being thoughtful and sweet to everyone around you, including wait staff, passersby, or others you interact with.
6. Go with the Flow.
Life can be enough of a drag without a partner who's all doom and gloom. While it’s obvious to keep the negativity out of your words, you also need to show him that you can take things in stride. So when things don’t go perfectly smoothly (the table service sucks, the movie's sold out, it rains on your mini-golf), he’ll be impressed when you’re the first one to say, “That’s ok, no worries. I’m having a great time with you anyway.”
7. Make the Ending Easy.
Guys can get a little gun-shy after being repeatedly rejected, so if you want to see him again, make it easy for him. Look him in the eye, smile radiantly, touch him gently, and say, “I had a great time tonight. I love how smart, thoughtful, and funny you are (or whatever is true).” By opening the door for him, you’ll make it easy for him to ask you out for a second date.
By stepping into your radiant, captivating, and passionate self on every date, you’ll invite more guys to notice what a great catch you really are – leading to more and better, second dates!
By Dating Diva, Jennifer Oikle, Ph.D., for GalTime.com
1. Choosing ourselves, even if it means upsetting others and not being popular anymore. Even if it means we leave a party before anyone else because we feel tired, overwhelmed, or just plain feel done with the crowd.
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