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Now that you are divorced or otherwise single, what are you looking for?
You’ve probably been asked that question, or a variation of it, many times, and it’s not always easy to pin down an answer. Most of us can readily identify what we don’t want, but putting a finger on exactly what we’re looking for in a partner and/or a relationship is often a difficult task.
As a relationship expert, I've found that many of our wants come from things that we've experienced in past relationships, or from things we've not experienced but would like to. We hold on to pieces of past relationships that we perceive as “good,” and we tend to drag that baggage into new relationships.
But this type of behavior raises a very important question: Is this fair?
The answer is: not really. It is very important to enter into each new relationship with no preconceived ideas. Try to leave behind your past, and look at the new man in your life with fresh eyes and an open heart. But, that does not mean that you should walk in with heart in your hands, ready to commit.
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Question #1- Are you looking for a serious relationship?
If your answer to this question is “yes,” then your approach to dating may be a little different from the tactics used by someone looking for a casual set-up. Ask your new love interest important questions before going on that first date.
Questions such as, “Are you looking to just date or are you looking for a serious relationship?” will help you narrow down your search to a man who has similar relationship goals. Most men will share their intentions, especially if they have been divorced. But there are a few who won't, so always, always trust your instincts.
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