Manage your expectations on what to expect when you start dating your new plus one.
Along with the excitement of being in a new relationship comes the feelings of butterflies and a well of hope that this person could be The One. Usually these emotions last during the Honeymoon Phase, the first few months of dating where everything seems picture perfect.
While going through this euphoric stage, it's important to also manage your expectations from the other person. Once your feet come back down to earth and you remove your rose colored glasses, you may begin to see things differently.
Keep the honeymoon phase going longer in your new relationship by remembering:
- They are human. To err is human, to forgive is divine. Mistakes will be made, minor and major. Unless it does not trample on your morals, definition of fidelity or beliefs, try to give the other person leeway to make mistakes. Expecting your new plus one to be perfect is a cross noone should have to bear.
- They have a past. They have dated before - maybe just one, maybe one hundred. Either way, the people that they have spent time with have helped shaped them to be who they are now. Try not to be judgmental, jealous or envious of where they have come from. Instead, focus on where the two of you may be going.
- There will be similarities. You may share the same taste in food, music and authors. Use what you have in common as a bond to keep your relationship moving forward in a positive direction. What you share in common could eventually be the duck tape that keeps you two together forever.
- There will be differences. He may not want to see the latest Emma Stone chick flick. She may not want to watch Game of Thrones. Whatever differences you have, try to make them the quirks about the other versus the complaints. Unless it is completely intolerable, learning to accept your partner's oddities shows that you respect each other and agree to disagree on certain things.
- They are not the end all, be all. Although you two may be so wrapped up in each other that you can't think straight, avoid being the 24/7 couple. It's important that you each spend time with your friends, family and doing outside activities. Putting the pressure on your partner to be your best friend, lover, confidant, raquetball partner and standing plus one eliminates room for anyone else in your life. Platonic friendships can be healthy extensions of a relationship and of yourself. There's no need to take up ice hockey lessons if he plays on a team. Let him have his game day with the guys. You can spend this time getting a mani-pedi with your girlfriends and catching up on the latest gossip.
Don't let the minor differences keep you from falling in love. Your ideal match may have a few imperfections, but they may still be perfect for you.
Contributed by Kimberly James, MatchMaster and Dating Expert, www.FindYourPlusOne.com