Knowing when to get help is the first step.
Being happily married is not easy, and being in love is not a sure path to a happy relationship. You and your partner are not clones; you'll have differences, which often lead to disappointment and frustration. And while tension is common, it presents you with a challenge: Will you argue over your differences or use them as opportunities to grow your relationship?
One of the best ways to reconcile personal differences is through couples therapy. Couples therapy helps you remove personal blind spots that get in the way of seeing yourself clearly. It coaches you in the art of listening without making judgements and placing blame. It also helps you express frustration constructively so you don't angrily act it out. These are crucially important skills that will transform your relationship.
Here are five warning signs that you need couples therapy now:
1.You keep having the same fights over and over again. This is a clear sign that you are not communicating well enough to solve your problems. Without good communication compromise is impossible, without compromise your problems pile like land mines ready to explode and repeatedly damage your relationship. Couples therapy helps you learn how to talk and listen to one another.
2. You're too tired to have sex. Of course there are times when you and your partner are too physically exhausted to make love but when this becomes a pattern something else is going on. Most likely you are emotionally drained because you are carrying a lot of unresolved anger that is a direct consequence of not solving problems as they come up. Letting your sexual relationship drift is risky because it opens the door for others to come in and fill the void. Couples therapy teaches you how to defuse anger in your relationship.
More couples advice from YourTango:
- 5 Marriage Secrets From Happily Married (A Long Time!) Couples
- Survey Reveals The Real Reason Couples Get Divorced
- 22 Ways Couples Can Survive Infidelity (From Marriage Experts)