We call it "dropping the bomb" syndrome and it usually follows the same pattern: one partner believes their marriage is going along fine when the other suddenly announces it's over; finished, done, period. It turns out that things were far from fine; there was a lot of denial going on, a lot of saying 'yes' when you meant 'no' and a lot of unexpressed anger simmering just below the surface. When that simmer reaches a boil, the bomb drops. What Women Wish They'd Known Before Marriage
In most cases, husbands are those who make the unexpected announcement, leaving their wives in shock, disbelief and anger at being left. The resulting collateral damage on children and extended family only widens the circle of pain.
How can you know if your husband is really happily married? Is there a way to tell if your marriage is bomb proof? When he says "I love you" can you believe it? Here are ten ways to know he's happy in your marriage:
1. He feels that you notice and appreciate him and do not take him for granted. In survey, men consistently identify feeling appreciated as a prime measure of how happily married they are.
2. He knows he can be himself and confide in you without being judged or criticized. This kind of self-disclosing communication is crucially important because it builds trust and commitment.
3. He sees that you desire him and express it sexually. No matter how much a man enjoys sex, it's a turnoff to feel like he's the only one interested.
4. He likes how he feels about himself when he is with you. Your affectionate attention outside of the bedroom, (compliments, praise, hugs, warm touches, saying "I love you") makes him feel good about himself and endears you to him.
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5. He knows you love and accept him for who he is, but he also knows you will not tolerate bad behavior on his part. He knows your love is real and respects it because he sees it's not based on submissive compliance.
6. He likes that you need him but that you aren't 'needy'. Relying on one another is a part of a healthy relationship, but being "needy" (overly dependent) creates control and the desire to flee from it. Can We Really Make Our Love Last Forever?
7. He likes that you care about looking attractive in your own personal way. He doesn't expect you to look like a Hollywood starlet, but seeing that you care about your appearance makes him feel you value yourself and the relationship.
8. He feels respected and admired by you. There can't be love without respect. Feeling admired by the one you love enhances self-esteem; it renews both sexual and emotional passion between you two.