Dating Don'ts To Avoid When Meeting New People

By

Dating Advice For Meeting New People
New to dating or jumping back in the field? Here are a few definite "don'ts!"

Dating again? Don't get overwhelmed! Meeting new people isn't easy for everyone. Expectations can be high and it's very easy to make a wrong move when you're feeling insecure, unconfident or nervous.

Knowing what not to do on your first and second dates can help you to avoid future issues in a relationship, and will also ensure you relax and have a fun time — besides, isn't that what it's all about? Here are Dr. Romance's reminders of what not to do on a date.

 

  1. Don't assume your date is exclusive with you.
    If you've never talked about it, you shouldn't assume exclusivity, and nor should he. If it's something that's important to you, bring it up and discuss your level of commitment to each other. 
  2. Don't be afraid of silence.
    Occasional silences allow a conversation to feel natural and unforced. Let him do some of the talking, and don't fill space out of nervousness or habit. If you end up together, you won't be talking all the time, so why force it now?
  3. Don't make sex the objective.
    Good reasons for going slowly into sexual activity include: reducing the risk of sexually transmitted diseases, avoiding the awkwardness of intimacy with a total stranger, averting codependent obsession and having sex to look forward to!  If and when sex is right, it will happen. There's no advantage in rushing.
  4. Don't date beyond your budget.
    It doesn't impress your date if, in the long run, you have to make an embarrassing confession that you can't afford the lifestyle you've been living, and besides, "buying" someone's affection doesn't work. A wide disparity in income calls for frank discussion early on. If your date spends a lot on you, reciprocating with a home-cooked meal, a hand-made gift, or needed repair work will help even the tally. Don't feel pressure to "pay" someone back with such gestures, however, if you're not interested romantically.
  5. Don't get too self-conscious. 
    The media focus on youth and fitness these days is enough to make anyone feel insecure and unattractive. Look your best, tell yourself you're desirable and then forget about it. Instead of worrying what your date thinks of you, focus on what you think of your date.

Keeping these "don'ts" in mind when dating can help you meet the right person for the ultimate "I do."

More dating advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Tina Tessina

Author

Tina B. Tessina, Ph.D.
http://www.tinatessina.com
tina@tinatessina.com
562-438-8077
Dr. Romance Blog: http://drromance.typepad.com/dr_romance_blog/
http://www.twitter.com/tinatessina
http://www.facebook.com/#!/DrRomanceBlog
Amazon author page http://amzn.to/rar7RC
 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: LMFT, MFT, PhD
Other Articles/News by Dr. Tina Tessina:

6 Signs That Your Relationship Is Sucking The Life Out Of You

By

The unspoken dating rule is that once you're bonded with someone, you don't want to let go, even if things aren't going great. Since most of us like to avoid our feelings, we don't want to do the grieving that's necessary to let go. But when you've had a loss, there are a certain number of tears you must cry to let go ... Read more

Dear Dr. Romance: They say I am a diamond as a man

By

Dear Dr. Romance: Thanks for sharing the great article  "A Good Cry" !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a question about it: "....If you're trying to help someone cope with a loss, don't try to make the bereaved person feel better. It just shuts down their grief, and makes them feel that their feelings are ... Read more

Letting Go Takes Love

By

Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular