The Recipe For Intimacy: Revealing And Accepting

By

The Recipe For Intimacy: Revealing and Accepting
Intimacy flows when we are open, kind, interested, supportive and self-revealing with each other.

Most of us say we want a close, connected intimate relationship, but this doesn't just happen. It is made up of two essential parts: revealing yourself and accepting your partner. While this might sound easy, it is generally quite challenging for two reasons:

  • In order to reveal yourself, you need to know yourself.
  • In order to accept your partner, you need to accept yourself.

Intimacy occurs when we each share ourselves with our partner — revealing our feelings of love for our partner, as well as our fears, vulnerabilities, hopes, desires, and needs. It's the sharing of feelings that creates intimacy.

 

Sharing Yourself With Your Partner

In order to share your feelings, you need to know your feelings, and this is where it can get tricky. How often are you aware of what you feel? Do you avoid your feelings by focusing in your head rather than in your body where your feelings are? Do you avoid your feelings by judging them or by turning to various addictions to numb them out?

When you learn to accept your own feelings and learn from them rather than avoid them or judge them, then you can share your feelings and your learning with your partner.

Another tricky aspect of sharing your feelings with your partner is why you are sharing them. Are you sharing them to make your partner responsible for them or are you sharing them as a way of revealing yourself to your partner — a way of creating connection with your partner? Understanding your intent in sharing your feelings is vital to creating intimacy. When you are taking responsibility for your own feelings and learning from them, then sharing them with your partner will deepen your intimacy. Keep reading...

GO FURTHER TOGETHER WITH MORE SPARKS AT DUREXUSA.COM/GETCLOSER

Learn more about the Liberating Side of Being Together:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Margaret Paul

Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process - featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. Are you are ready to heal your pain and discover your joy? Take our FREE Inner Bonding course, and click here for a FREE CD/DVD relationship offer. Visit our website at innerbonding.com for more articles and help, as well as our Facebook Page. Phone and Skype sessions available. Join the thousands we have already helped and visit us now!

Location: Pacific Palisades, CA
Credentials: PhD
Specialties: Anxiety Issues, Couples/Marital Issues, Depression
Other Articles/News by Dr. Margaret Paul:

What to do When He Expects You to be His Therapist

By

One of the important things I learned in my own marriage and in my work with clients is that a committed relationship is NOT supposed to be a therapeutic relationship. We can help each other to learn, grow and heal, but this is very different than a therapeutic relationship. In a marriage, or close committed relationship or friendship, we can help each other, ... Read more

Control and Resistance Can Ruin Your Sex Life

By

"I just want to feel loved," complained Angie. "Is that too much to ask? I want to be able to count on Richard in bed. I'm tired of feeling like I don't count!" Angie and her husband, Richard, were caught in a power struggle that was having a very negative affect on their sex life. Most of the time, as soon as they started to ... Read more

Dealing With Trust Issues? Why You Need To Trust YOURSELF First

By

"I have a hard time trusting people." "I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife)." It is very common for me in my work as a counselor to hear the above statements. Trust issues abound in relationships. However, resolving trust issues is not about getting another person to be trustworthy. It's about you become a ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular