One of the biggest joys of my life is to watch a frustrated client go from feeling fearful and frustrated about relationships, to a sense of security and fulfilment.
There are three universal cries I hear from my clients.
- "what am I doing wrong?"
- " what do they have that I don't have?"
- " I followed every piece of advice from famous experts to the letter, yet nothing seems to work for long. I don't know what else to do.!"
Relationship stress can make you want to give up. That is where I come in. I help you to build your relationship skills with me, face to face. You practice, get feedback, learn to share feelings in the moment and read others accurately.
I help you use all four of your cylinders (intellectual, emotional, physical and social) to find a partner that will fit all your needs, so that you don't end up with conflict or loneliness. My focus on the mind-body link helps you deal with the emotional problems that come from having no relationships, or distressing ones.
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
It took me many years to learn that you can't learn how to have a good relationship except through a good relationship. Through my own work in therapy and doing a doctorate in clinical psychology, I learned about relationship security in attachments. I allowed myself to need and now I help others to do the same. As I did, they learn the difference between being 'weak and needy' versus 'strong and interdependent.'
I started out as a child and family psychologist in the United Kingdom and now practice as a clinical psychologist in America. I have taught all ages , and currently teach and supervise aspiring psychotherapists.
I have been practicing as a psychologist for over 25 years, and like to tailor my efforts to each client's individual needs. I help prevent the wounds of your past hijacking you in the present so that you are able to make strong, secure, satisfying and stable relationships.
“I thought weight was the stumbling block that prevented me from having intimate relationships. After trying everything under the sun to loose weight and hating myself for not being able to get thinner I went to work with Dr. Raymond. It totally stressed me out. I discovered that I was never comfortable with relationships. I was either taking care of people or feeling dominated. I was suspicious of affection and closeness. It made me feel that I would have to give something of myself that I didn’t want to give or that I would be trampled over and hurt like so many times before. My weight was a convenient way of keeping people at bay.
Dr. Raymond never let up for a minute. It made me feel like she really cared about me working on my issues so I could allow myself to risk relationships. I am much more comfortable receiving love and affection. I have developed good boundaries so that I don’t feel pulled to take care of others or forced into submitting in order to keep a connection. Dr. Raymond has helped me master my emotions so that I can have a relationship on equal terms. I now trust myself to know what is genuine and what isn’t.Thirty-four year old divorced, stressed woman.
“I used to hate certain things about myself and would do anything to cover it up so I didn’t feel embarrassed, ashamed or guilty for being that way. It stopped me from connecting to people and I was miserable feeling lonely and sorry for myself. Dr. Raymond helped me to understand that I was robbing myself from knowing myself and from letting others get to know me. Dr. Raymond accepted all parts of me and gradually I realized that I wasn’t a bad girl going to hell. Dr. Raymond made me question my judgements about myself and I started doing it myself. I found that when I am not embarrassed or ashamed to be myself, the response I get is more relaxed and I feel more connected.
The more Dr. Raymond liked the parts of me I didn’t approve of the more curious I got about who I really was. It was hard to see that I was the one stopping myself from having closeness and care from my family and friends. Guilt, shame and embarrassment no longer overpower me because I have learned from Dr. Raymond that I am lovable exactly as I am. I don’t hide from myself and I don’t have to hide from anyone else either. The most surprising thing is that I am finding genuine love and affection in my world.” Forty-four year old massage therapist.
“ I used to have intense relationships for short periods of time and then cool off for no reason. If the woman was not serious I worked hard to get her to want me but it never worked. I felt rejected. If a woman showed a lot of interest in me, it would put me off and I would end things. I never understood why this kept happening and frankly it was really frustrating. I was beginning to think that I would never have a comfortable long term relationship. It was after a really bad break up that I found Dr. Raymond and she helped me figure out what was going on. Just as I thought I was getting a handle on understanding my fears, I fell deeply in love. It seemed that everything was falling into place and I couldn’t have been happier. Until those fears started bugging me again. They stopped me from sleeping and gave me nightmares. Dr. Raymond helped me understand them in real time , so I didn’t run away again. I was able to stay in the relationship and overcome my fear of losing something I treasured.” Thirty-seven year old engineer.
|Time in Practice||25 years +|
|I practice in||All areas, please inquire|
|I offer my services||At my office|
Via a webcam
|Licence information||Expiration 9/30/16|
Now You Want Me, Now You Don't!: Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship
In Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t, Dr. Jeanette Raymond stands ...