My Wife Cheated - What's Wrong With Her?

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My Wife Cheated - What's Wrong With Her?
Many of us imagine that only men cheat. When a woman is the cheater, we may have less tolerance

Many of us imagine that cheating is only reserved for men.  Even among liberal thinking men and women, many of us still hold that image in our minds.  So when a woman is the cheater, we tend to have less tolerance than we do for men.  But a very conservative statistic estimates that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair at some time.

Marriage can be difficult in even the best of relationships. Most of us experience many different stresses and outside influences that are not always supportive of our most intimate relationship.  Many men and women have temptations at work and may allow their fantasies to run wild.  The atmosphere at home may be one of boredom, complacency or downright hostility.

 

Many women I have worked with, upstanding, responsible, warm and caring women, have gotten involved with a man who is not their husband.  Usually it begins after years of the woman feeling unfulfilled, sexually unsatisfied and a sense that she no longer feels that emotional connection with her husband.  The women I have worked with did not aggressively go out searching for someone to have sex with. 

What happened in each and every case was that the woman had been feeling restless and unhappy at home for a long time.  One lady started to go dancing one night a week with a girlfriend.  Dancing can make a woman feel alive and sensual and beautiful.  The problem is, if she is out dancing with other men it is probably only a matter of time until she gets emotionally connected and then sexually involved with one of them.  Men who like to dance with women can certainly be charming and sometimes have an agenda of their own.

Some of the women I have worked with did not go out dancing.  In fact, they did nothing different in their daily routine.  But because they were feeling so much discontent, they spent more time away from home and that meant more time out in public places, like Starbucks or local coffee shops.  Sooner or later, when a reasonably attractive woman is discontented at home and is regularly out and about, another man may approach her.  If they both continue to return to the same place, before long an affair may begin.  It can start slowly, sharing a cup of coffee.  Then it may progress to meeting somewhere else for lunch.  Then, perhaps they meet for dinner or a new and exciting event.  It is the progression of shared time, shared enjoyable experiences, and shared emotions that can lead to a full blown physical and emotional connection.

In the throes of an exciting affair, the woman may feel as if she is finally coming alive.  She may feel youthful again, regardless of her age or physical appearance.  She may feel loved and appreciated, acknowledged and known in a way that perhaps she never felt before. 

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dr. Erica Goodstone

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I have the unique habit of caring about you and seeing your greatness when you may temporarily have blinders on. I will lovingly nudge you into a state of self-acceptance, self-appreciation and receptivity to the love of others.

My life's work is to help you create and allow healing and love in your life and all your relationships. You create healing in your body by removing impediments to your natural immune system functions. You create love in your relationships by accepting and appreciating the unique gifts that each and every person has to offer, and that includes YOU.

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Location: Boca Raton, FL
Credentials: LMFT, LMHC, LPC, MA, MFT, NCC, Other, PhD
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