A sociocultural perspective on issues pertaining to males, females, relationships & culture.
Let's face it: males and females are different, and don't necessarily think in the same ways. The two can often even seem at war! When it comes to relationships, commitment, communication and expectations, both sides complain about and contest each other.
Males tell me that females are always the victims. They are never satisified and always have something to comment on or complain about. A lot of guys want someone to tell "the truth" about relationships. They want females to know what they really think. So, what are those truths and thoughts from their perspective? I'm glad you asked! Here are 17 thoughts most men have about love, relationships and women.
- Females want to have their cake and eat it too. They want attention, appreciation and communication...but are very dishonest and deceptive in what they say versus what they really feel or want you to know.
- Females lie by omission and will not accept the fact you can have a nice chemistry, a nice date and nice fellowship, but that that doesn't mean "I'm into you."
- Not all guys want sex. Some of us just want honesty, accountability, consistency, respect and appreciation...and a friend without the benefits.
- We know from the beginning whether we want to be friends, have sex, be involved and/or marry you.
- Don't ask us for our opinion about anything if you can't handle the answer. Being nice doesn't mean that I have to say what you want to hear. You can't handle the truth!
- Could you give half as much you as take? Being excessively needy, controlling, manipulating and monopolizing will run anyone away!
- Relationships aren't about you being independent and strong. They are about us being interdependent.
- Could you send us roses, buy us gifts, pay for the meal and accomodate us half us much as we accomodate you? No, we are not looking for a sugar momma.
- Do you have to talk so much? Do I have to call you three and five times a day, just so that you can do all of the talking?
- Everything isn't about you. Really, it isn't.
- My purpose in life isn't to make you happy. You need to be happy all by yourself.
- Just because I don't want to get married right now does not mean that I am a player, I cheat or that I am insecure and don't want commitment. I just don't want to get married right now...and, okay, I might not want to marry you.
- Can I have female friends? Really! Sometimes they really are just friends and they do not pose a threat to you.
- Just because you are upset, disappointed, moody, angry or life isn't going your way does not mean that we want to hear about it all the time.
- We need our space everyday, just like you.
- Could you get off the cell phone and stop all the texting? You don't have to respond to every call and every text when we are together.
- Please don't ask us to "Do you a favor." We don't want to pay your rent, your car note or any bill you created. We did not sign up for that. It doesn't mean that we don't love you, but you are not our child or our spouse.
Well, having shared what males think, want and need, maybe it's time we hear from females about what they think about males and relationships—and also what they think about what these males had to say!
Just a male speaking,
Eric Rogers, Ph.D., is a Professor of Psychology in Chicago, Ill. and a Life Coach specializing in relationships.