Defining and finding authentic love for life
Since seeking a partner is a natural part of the human experience, it makes sense to focus on love. It is one thing to play the game by yourself, but when you add a partner, learning opportunities multiply exponentially. With a partner in the equation, one and one equal three: your own experience, your partner's, and the experiences shared by the two of you. Entering the arena of love provides you and your partner with an entirely
new set of lessons. Lessons that can greatly enhance both of your lives.
Intimacy is a process in which two people pursue their own personal growth within the context of their relationship. Throughout the past 40 years, I have led workshops and facilitated couples in search of authentic relationships, those based on honesty, respect, communication and a deep level of connection. I have assisted couples in defining their purpose, expectations, visions, values and their willingness to go beyond two separate "I" entities and intentionally creating a joint "we" reality. From this I have witnessed unions being formed, formalized and committed.
I have noticed how deeply both men and women long to share their lives … and how much effort, patience, and fortitude is required to make authentic relationships work. All these experiences, combined with my own life lessons, have taught me that love itself is natural and actually fairly easy; it is relating that presents the challenge.
Authentic love requires that you go deeper than the thrill of infatuation, beyond the rush of chemistry, and sometimes that you transcend the expectations of family, friends, and society. Authentic love requires that you discover and embrace your authentic self, and from that essential self draw to you the person with whom you want to hold hands and experience the adventure of life.
Authentic love is choosing your partner exactly as he is; it is putting your energy behind your choice and causing the relationship to be magical, rather than searching for reasons why it can't work. Love is supporting your partner in her choices, urging her to fulfill her heart's desires and go for all of her dreams.
Authentic love is honoring your partner's truth and wanting the very best for him. It is not controlling or possessing but rather respecting and trusting his unique path in life. Love is the courage to tell the truth especially when you believe it is unspeakable. Authentic love means knowing your boundaries and respecting those of your partner; it means reaching out when you don't want to, communicating rather than assuming, and asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions.
Authentic love means working things out rather than fighting, fighting rather than leaving, and staying through the misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and disappointments, knowing that through commitment all can be healed. It means staying when you want to give up and honoring your commitment to work things out with the one you have chosen.
Authentic love means focusing on what you appreciate and why you are grateful. It means focusing on solutions rather than on problems. It means focusing attention on your partner and letting her know each day how much you care. It means treasuring your beloved and never taking her for granted. Authentic love means living without judgments to create the safety to tell your truths. It means living each day with your partner as if it were your last. It is the willingness to be yourself and live in harmony with each other.
What does an authentic relationship look like?
It looks and feels real. It thrives on honesty and shimmers with truth. An authentic relationship flexes and bends with the fluctuating needs and changes of each partner and gracefully weathers hardships. Both partners are committed to the growth and evolution of both individuals in their respective life paths. Much like the diamond used symbolically to represent the bond of matrimony, an authentic relationship sparkles with brilliance and light while maintaining a solid and enduring core. It is the context in which true love was meant to exist.
Of course, this is the ideal. The real fun and opportunity lies in reaching for such a vision. If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules gives you the tools you need along the way as you leam how to win at your love relationship.
These rules will help you in your joumey to create, and sustain authentic and lasting love. Whether you are in search of your soulmate or you want to make your existing relationship more intimate and connected, you will find here exactly what you need to answer your questions. If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules offers the option of playing the game of life with a partner who plays by the same rules.