Okay, first things first. I am an honest man so I have to admit as I write this I am 49, but in just a few short months, in May, I will be 50. Some may break out in a cold sweat at the thought that life is half over. Some may deny their age. And some may just resign to life and let it push them the rest of the way to the grave.
Not me. I am looking forward to my upcoming years. Life is not about age, it’s about attitude. As I look in the mirror and see a man with less hair and perhaps a few more wrinkles, inside I feel as though I am still in my 20s. Not that I want to physically be 20, rather it was the outlook on life, the possibilities, the excitement of the years yet to come.
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None of that has changed. The same sun still rises in the morning. The full moon is still as bright. So why should my outlook have to change? Mentally, time has not dampened my hope, it has amplified it. Physically, time may have limited my activity, but mentally I am still as young as I have ever been. And I would argue even more so today than when I was 20, my anticipation for the future is brighter than ever.
With time, as thousands of my suns rose my relationship intelligence has increased. Having a half dozen mid- to long-term relationships, I took the time to learn and grow – to evolve. As a result of doing my homework on me, I have found six reasons why I feel that I am in a better position to truly appreciate and create a great loving relationship after 50:
- Relationship Intelligence. I’ve learned from my past. With each relationship, I’ve reflected on what worked, what didn’t, what I liked and what I did not. I’ve practiced and refined my relationship skills and feel that I am better at creating love, communicating my personal intimacy preferences and appreciating the woman beside me.
- Partner Preference. My dating and relationship experience has given me a better idea of what I want in a mate. With just that knowledge alone, I am heads above where I was at in my 20s, 30s and even 40s because I was still learning what I wanted in a partner.
- Personal Wisdom. Part of experiencing time is the ability to dig deeper into my thoughts. What truly matters? What are the important things in life? Learning and nurturing my emotional intelligence has made me a better partner. Pursuing, practicing and following my spiritual path has made me a better person. All these deeper levels of humanity has given me a fonder appreciation and ability to create love.
- More “Me” Time. I love my kids, they are the world to me. As they age and move on with their life, instead of create a feeling of loss, I create a feeling of renewal – a personal renaissance. With more Me time, I can pursue all things I’ve wanted to nurture within me – from playing an instrument to drawing to trying theater. As my life is more fulfilled, so is that energy to share and give to my partner.
- Financial Flexibility. Yes I know money can’t buy happiness, but it can sure let you do more things. And with the kids being out of the house and me reaching my peak earning years, the world is truly my oyster.