Why I Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day Anymore

By

Why I Don't Celebrate Valentine's Day Anymore
Single or coupled, the V-Day can cause a lot of distress...so why bother?

Depending upon your social status or quality of current relationship, Valentine’s Day can either be a heaven or a hell day for you. Being single into my forties, I can tell you that most of these supposed heart-filled days have been on the disappointing end. Each of my single years I would be exposed to all the happy coupled women in the office bragging about their dinner plans among the gigantic bouquet of flowers on their desk with the heart-shaped “I Love You” balloons. I tried to be positive, but every stupid cupid image I saw felt like someone was stabbing a dagger in my lonely heart.

Even on the rare occasion when I did have pseudo-boyfriend on the day, I was disillusioned with the level of effort they put into the celebration. The restaurant was too cheap, the flowers were carnations instead of roses or they totally avoided calling or setting up a date because they didn’t want me to think we were serious. I just can’t remember one Valentine’s Day that was actually great after I turned ten.

 

When I finally met Roberto, I thought my V-Day attitude would change. Now it was my turn to get the flowers, the candy and the fancy dinner. However, our first Valentine’s Day together didn’t feel any more special than any other day. He always showered me with love and affection, so V-Day just didn’t seem to be such a big deal anymore. Every day with Roberto was filled with love; we didn’t need a holiday to make a special statement. It felt almost weird to celebrate like we were stating the obvious.

Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean anything at all except for the meaning we give it. The people who get the strongest reaction around it, good or bad, are really just looking for reassurance that they are loved through a made-up holiday. If you are single, you want a Valentine so can feel lovable. You celebrate when you have a date (even if it is a dork that you settled for just to get out for the evening) or you get down on yourself if you spend the night alone.

The same goes for couples who need a big hoopla or gift so their partner can prove their love. If he doesn’t follow through, it could be the cause of distress in the relationship. Single or Coupled, Valentine’s seems to cause more problems than cheery happy hearts.

Don’t use this holiday as a way to gauge your personal worth or the commitment of your partner. It is just another day. You deserve someone who will treat you special every single day, not just once a year. Remember, there is nothing like a spontaneous love gift from your true partner compared to obligatory offering made on V-Day that is often forced and pre-packaged.

So for this Valentine’s Day, remember these three magical words, “No Big Deal.” Being alone on this day doesn’t mean you will be lonely forever. It just means that the one isn’t here yet and that this is one less day you will have to go through without them. If you keep your chin up, you'll find a love that you can celebrate every day of the year.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Debi Berndt

Author

Debi Berndt is the co-founder of CreativeLove.com, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

Still Single? Here's Why You Need To Be Committed To Finding Love

By

When you think of marriage or other committed relationships, it is natural to also think that the commitment is bound by feelings. Sure you want to have loving feelings for the person you spend your life with, but the commitment piece should not be driven by feelings. This main reason for divorce or breakups is that people “fall out of love” and ... Read more

Are You Waiting To Win The Love Lottery? Then Stop Playing...

By

There is a huge difference between wanting a relationship and being emotionally ready to be in one. One of the main reasons why I see people struggle in finding love is that they are waiting for the relationship to come in and change their life instead of changing their life so they can have the relationship. Staying single may be how you find love. Do you ... Read more

Feeling That Crazy Chemistry? Watch Out! It May Be A Red Flag

By

Finding love should be as easy as following your feelings. If you look for chemistry, you cannot make a mistake, right? Wrong. The truth about default chemistry is that it is not related to love at all. If you are centering your love decisions on this feeling, you are sure to be heartbroken. Chemistry is what everyone is searching for in a partner. You ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular