Resistance To Love? How To Overcome It For Good


Resistance To Love? How To Overcome It For Good
Resistance is natural and a doorway to everything you want.

When you are trying to change your love life, you will always meet resistance from your ego. Not logical, your ego is conditioned to keep you in the status quo even if normal feels so abnormal to you. The resistance can either keep you stuck or it can be a tool for transformation that leads you to your greatest dreams.

Most people do not understand resistance or how awesome it is when you bump up against it. Imagine that you are in a room with four walls and that room is your life as it is right now. There are things outside of your current life that you want, beyond the walls of your limited perception. The only way to move beyond the room to greater love is through the door of resistance. It is the pathway to your dreams.

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Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. You cannot make a change in your love life without making a change in your inner life. You are wired to have the relationship experience that is in your limited room. Different faces, but ultimately same pattern. If you stay in the same mental room, you get the same results out there.

When we move toward a new experience, the ego’s alarms go off inside because it knows you trying to escape and change the pattern. The ego tries to trip us up to distract us with things so we will return to the safety of our old ways. These appear to be bad dates, a fight with a friend or family member, a layoff from a job and sometimes even an ex-lover returning to seduce us.  The ego is also skilled to use our negative thinking patterns to frighten us back with anxiety and fear.

I see this happen all the time with people who are excited to join a new program with me but then put off making the decision or convince themselves they should wait for the right time. They keep dancing around it as the ego flashes bright shiny objects to distract them from the sure thing that can lead them to true love. Avoiding anything that requires change, the ego will try to convince you that what you are about to do is unpleasant or the wrong way to go. You may have experienced this when you signed up for a course or coaching or therapy program and felt the pull to give up, avoid certain lessons or justify that you are just too busy. That is the ego winning again and keeping you in your old room.

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Article contributed by
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Santa Monica, CA
Credentials: CHT
Other Articles/News by Debi Berndt:

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