Finding True Love When You Hate To Date


Finding True Love When You Hate To Date
Most singles complain about dating but there are some real benefits to getting out there.

There are some people who LOVE to date. They enjoy meeting new people and soak up the attention from the opposite sex. These singles are constantly on dating sites looking for their next fling or trolling the bars for the next Mr. or Ms. Right Now. Most of you probably don’t fall into that category. Whether you have been on the dating circuit for a while or have refused to participate at all, if you hate to date you may need to open your eyes to a new way of looking at this necessary exercise on the path to true love.

Regardless of what type of dater you are – a non-dater or serial dater – if you hate to date, you are missing out on a major relationship learning experience. From the point you email a person online or have a random conversation in a social setting, you have begun a relationship. Now, some of these experiences last a few minutes, some weeks and longer but you can learn a lot about yourself and how you handle yourself with the opposite sex through even the shortest of encounters.


Here are some benefits to dating:

1. Getting outside your comfort zone. When you refuse to date you are depriving yourself of an incredible growth opportunity. You push beyond old boundaries that kept love away in the past when you face your fears of rejection and being loved. If you don’t date, you will simply kick the can down the road avoiding interaction with potential mates and make excuses for why you are still single.

2. Building Your Love Muscle. I know, this sounds a little kinky for those with dirty minds, but I am talking about opening your heart muscle. Dating can help you work out the kinks in your communication skills so that you are prepared for the real thing when it happens. You don’t want to go cold turkey into a dream relationship without a little preparatory practice.

3. Learning to let go of results. In any relationship, you have to give up control over what the other person feels whether you are dating for a few weeks or married for twenty years. Dating is a great way to become conscious of where you are still seeking approval from a person and exposes those buttons that keep you out of balance with your heart and head.

4. Expediting the arrival of your true love. If you aren’t dating, you aren’t going to meet the one. I’m sorry but your dream partner isn’t going to show up on your doorstep with a bright, shiny bow with a sign that says “I’m the one.” You have to go amongst the three dimensional people so he or she can find you. By taking action, you actual send a strong message to the universe that you are serious about finding love and people, circumstances and events will be transformed around you to fit your new intention.

5. Releasing the pressure of HOW. If you aren’t dating, your mind will panic and keep wondering how true love is going to happen for you. As you date, you can find comfort in that you are doing something to make your love life move forward and while in action your belief that love is around the corner will increase for you.

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by
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Debi Berndt


Debi Berndt is the co-founder of, a personal development system for singles to stop fixing themselves and finally find true love. She works with her partner, Dr. Robert Maldonado (Psychologist). Their system was developed based on Carl Jung's work and influenced by Eastern Philosophy.  Debi is also the author of the bestselling book, LET LOVE IN. Get your free lecture and meditation - Why you are single and how to find love without fixing yourself here.

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: CHT
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