Are you a control freak? Or do you know any control freaks? Or maybe you just don't want to admit it? Controlling is usually something most of us would never like to be called, especially if we are in any kind of relationship. Yet, in subtle or not so subtle ways, we search to be in control.
Maybe you're the one-upmanship person? You can't wait to plug your story into the conversation, effectively moving the spotlight from the other person onto you. Maybe you insist on telling everyone in the family exactly where everything has to go in the fridge—beer and drinks on this shelf, yogurt and milk on that shelf. Or do you freak out because someone wiped down the counter with the wrong kitchen towel? OMG! Whatever the case, your buttons have been pushed and you just have to react, be right and defend your point of view, tooth and nail.
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How would it feel for you to have permission to be a control freak? It just might feel pretty good, right? So, what's the secret? Are You Married To A Control Freak?
It's really not so much about controlling others, but more about the need for feeling a sense of control. That's the "control freak secret." When we feel out of control, we feel helpless, powerless or hopeless. When we're sick, worried about finances, feeling a sense of lack or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, the need to be in control increases. Subconsciously, we tell ourselves we are a victim, not lovable or not good enough. We get angry at our situation and try to control whatever or whomever else we can. You can be sure that the power struggles aren't far behind as we jockey to be heard, to be right, to tell our partner how to do things. Thinking someone or something has "happened to us", we talk over one another or diverge from the agenda at hand all in the name of eliminating the uncomfortable tension of the situation. It seems like the harder we try to control another person, the more we l ose it ourselves. Can you relate? How Do You Set Realistic Expectations In A Relationship?
So who's in control here? You...or your emotions? Are you letting your emotions hold the reins and letting life happen to you? Or, are you in control and making life happen the way you want? Be honest. The secret to being a control freak is to take control of your emotions before they get the best of you.
3 Tips For Gaining A Sense Of Control:
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"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt
1. Don't assume you know why the other person is doing what they are doing. It's rarely about you anyway. Chances are they didn't wake up and ask what they could do today to annoy you. Assume that the other person may have a very good reason for doing things that way, the same way you have your reasons, too. 3 Types Of Listening You Need To Master