ProConnect

Hey Kids, Do You Want To Meet My New Boyfriend?

By

Hey Kids, Do You Want To Meet My New Boyfriend?
Divorce happens, but what takes place after the divorce is final, may affect a child the most.

There are more single mom’s raising children nowadays than ever before. Some of the women share custody while others may have the children most of the time. Unfortunately, the statics of child abuse from a mom’s boyfriend or new husband is overwhelming.    

More children are abused by male step-parents, or mom’s boyfriends than even reported. This does not mean that mom can’t date or introduce a new boyfriend to her kids, but being aware of certain signs or behaviors in the man is her job as a mother. 

More from YourTango: Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

Children also can get attached to a man that mom brings home, so it is best to set up ground rules before introducing a man to your kids. Dating can be done when mom has a babysitter or the kids are at dads, in fact they don’t even have to know mom is on a date. Parents often involve their children in adult information that they just don’t need to know. A mom must always remember that her children where there first and make sure not to take too much time away from her kids to spend with a new man. 

The best rule of thumb is if you like the guy and it may be more than just dating, then invite him over for lunch or dinner and introduce him as a friend. Depending on the age of the children, if they are older than you, can use age appropriate information such as, "I am inviting Tim home for dinner. He's a man that I have been dating and I would like to introduce you to him." Take the time to watch how this man interacts with your kids. A man that wants to meet your children too soon, may be a warning sign to stay away. After dinner, or maybe a movie with the kids, have him go home and no sleep overs or make out sessions around the kids. 

More from YourTango: Vaccinate your Teenager against Sexually Transmitted Diseases

If you are a mom that has your kids half of the time, use that time to date and the other time to just spend quality time with the children especially if they are young. There are two rules to follow: take it slow and follow your gut. If things feel weird with this guy and your kids then don’t ignore it. Listen to what your children have to say as well. Don’t be afraid to ask their opinion. Remember, you are a family and he is an outsider to them. 
One last bit of advice is don’t use your new boyfriend as a babysitter either, remember those are your kids and until the relationship is established, it’s best to not become too dependent on him.

More dating after divorce advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Dawn Michael

Sex Therapist

Dawn Michael M.A.

Location: Westlake Village, CA
Credentials: BA, MA, MC, Other
Other Articles/News by Dawn Michael:

Why Do Men Hide Their Emotions?

By

Our brains have two emotional systems that work simultaneously, males seem to use one system more and females seem to use the other system more.  In men as they reach puberty and after their emotional empathy is not the same as a woman's and that boundary is there to prevent men from being influenced by others.  Whereas women take into account ... Read more

Vaccinate your Teenager against Sexually Transmitted Diseases

By

As a parent would you like your child to learn about sex from other teenagers? Parents can now vaccinate their children against unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted disease with information! What makes it such a problem in the United States and even more so in Singapore is the generation gap between traditional views of sex on one side and the ... Read more

A Holistic Sex Toy You Both Can Find Pleasure In

By

We have entered into a new generation of sex positive practitioners, who view sexuality as an important part of a person's well being. A growing number of medical professionals have dedicated their life's work to discovering new technology, medication and treatment for sexual dysfunction. As a clinical sexologist, I see patients every day that ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Multi-Ethnic Senior Women In Swimming Pool

Make New Friends, Keep Good Friends

Once you have a clear idea of the kinds of friendships you would enjoy, you can decide to create mor

Cooking Together

6 More Eco-Conscious Ideas For A Better World And A Better You

Here are six tips on how you can have sex more consciously and also be kind to the environment.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS