Your new man seems to be a dream come true, but if you spot any of these 3 dating red flags...RUN!
I got a great email from a lady the other day that I want to share with you. It shows why words matching actions is EXTREMELY important, and how to spot 3 major dating red flags in any new relationship. Here's the email:
I need your advice. I met this guy on Wednesday night. We hit it off on the first date. We talked, made out and hung out for hours.
We made plans that evening to hangout again on Saturday night. We spoke for four hours on the phone Friday evening and another two hours on Saturday afternoon before our date that same night.
We had a lot of fun, went out to dinner, laughing, holding hands and walking arm in arm. I felt a real connection with him, so I slept with him. He said he would call me later as I left in the morning.
I was at my friends yesterday and she wanted to see what he looked like. So I sent the guy I've been seeing a text, asking him to send me a picture. He didn't respond, so I sent another message an hour later.
He's claiming he never got the text requesting a picture and said sorry. Then he never called like he said he was going to yesterday. He did say he wasn't feeling well when I left. Apparently, he's getting over shingles. He still hasn't called or texted and it's driving me crazy.
He claimed he always does the right thing, and would never just start ignoring someone. I need to know what happened. If he doesn't want to see me again that's fine, but I deserve to know why he's doing a complete 180. Help! I want to know what's going on."
Well, you've gone wrong in a few places here. Let's break it all down.
1. He Tells You How Honorable He Is
He "claims" he always does the right thing, but why should you take his word for it?
Here's the thing. When you first meet a guy he's on his best behavior. Men become salesmen when they're trying to impress you, so he's going to say whatever he thinks you want to hear.
Don't take it at face value. Listen to what he says, and then see if his actions match his words. Listen to the stories he tells, and the promises he makes. Does he follow through? Do his stories change? If they do, then you need to BEWARE!
2. His Attitude Towards You Changes After Sex
The way a man behaves after sex with you is a BIG giveaway as to whether he plans on sticking around.
You say this guy spent hours talking to you and spending time with you before you slept together. Then it seems right after you slept together, his "shingles" started acting up.
Obviously it wasn't bothering him while he was having sex with you. It only seems to have kicked in the morning after. Doesn't that seem a bit strange to you?
Pay attention to how a man behaves after sex because it's going to give you a huge indication of his intentions. Look, you're an adult, so I have no right to tell anyone when to sleep with someone or when not to, but I strongly suggest you hold out for a while.
Just see whether the guy you're hanging out with has "follow through" skills. You met him Wednesday night. He's a complete stranger. I know you're excited because you want a relationship, but even if you wait for a few dates in, it's better than nothing.
You could have stayed in bed together and just cuddled. You could have had a sleep over. You didn't HAVE to have sex with him.
3. His Story Changes
Honestly, I suggest you take notes when you meet a guy. I don't mean literally stand in front of him with a pen taking down what he says. But I mean, mental notes about what he's saying. Stop worrying about what you need to say, and listen. Your ears are your best friends when it comes to meeting men.
Listen to everything he says. Listen to any promises he makes. Listen to any personality traits he tells you about.
Then, you need to watch over the next 30 days and see if he follows through. Remember, guys are on their best behavior when they first meet a woman they like so what you're seeing is the best of him. If he can't keep his promises in the first 30 days then the future doesn't look good!
Pay attention, don't leap into bed with him, and make sure he walks the walk as well as talking the talk!