It's no one else's business ... right?
When someone asks you why you are still single, does it bring up sadness, anger or frustration? This emotion is a signal that you're not totally loving your life as a single person, and it predicts a lot about how you are going to react.
Our reactions are a signal to what is happening within us emotionally. If someone asks you why you're single, pay attention to your reaction. Do you get defensive? If you feel yourself tighten up and contract when this happens, then it's time to investigate what is going on here. Less favorable reactions show us that we need to start telling the truth.
First, we need to start being honest with ourselves, and then we need to start being honest with everyone else.
The sad fact about our society is that we think that if we are not in a relationship, that we must be crazy or flawed in some way, but this just isn't true at all.
Many loving and influential people are single. There are so many circumstances and factors that make up the reasons that we are single. It's time we tapped into those and see things as they are. This is how we start being honest with ourselves.
If you're single and a maverick in your career, then it might not be time for you to bring love into your life. Your subconscious mind will pick up on these cues and will create a life that is more conducive to building an empire — not spending the weekends at the farmer's market.
If you are in a place of your life where you are not quite sure where you want to live or what you want to do, this could be another reason you are keeping yourself single. And there are other people who just never saw themselves as "the marrying type" — at least until they are older. That image of being married at 20 is just not a reality in their minds.
The reasons people remain single are endless, and in life, timing is absolutely everything.
Once you've learned to be honest with yourself about why you are still single, then it's time to start being honest with other people. When we learn to be open and vulnerable with others about our lives, we learn to relax and accept ourselves as we are.
Being dishonest to yourself and to the people around you tightens your muscles and causes frustration. When you just tell your truth to others about your situation, typically they will immediately move on to another topic. Nine times out of 10, people are just making light, innocent conversation.
Furthermore, if people are asking it in a way that sounds like they are amazed that you could be single (because who could deny how amazing you really are?!), it's simply because they admire you — take it as a compliment!
Truth is always the best policy.
David Maestas is a relationship coach in Denver, Colorado. Contact David for advice and guidance on becoming your most authentic self.