Why Men Ask You Out


Why Men Ask You Out
He's asked you out on a date. You think you know why, but you're not sure. Here's his reason.

Dating is a complicated ritual that most of us have engaged in at some point in our lives. And while many of us may find it awkward, tedious, and even downright frustrating, we nonetheless continue to do it because the drive to connect with another individual is so strong.

But what are we looking for in our dating experience? What exactly is our motivation to go on a date? Good questions. And as you might suspect, men and women have decidedly different takes on this issue. Of course, women go on a date for a multitude of reasons, such as:

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1. You are attracted to a guy and want to get to know him better;
2. You’re not that attracted to a guy, but are open to the possibility that there may be more there than meets the eye;
3. You think he’s excellent husband/father material;
4. You think he’s sexy as hell and can’t wait to jump his bones;
5. You don’t find him attractive at all, but he’s nice and polite, and you’ve been in a dating drought and this might just be the jump-start you need;
6. Your mother, sister, best friend, cousin, co-worker, or hair stylist has a “perfect” guy for you, and you think “what the hell it’s only a few hours of my life and my Tivo’s broken;” and
7. Hundreds of other reasons, too numerous to mention.

And why do guys ask you out?

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1. Because they find you attractive and want to have sex with you; and
2. That’s pretty much it, go back and review reason number one.

At this point, many of you may be shaking your heads in disappointment or disbelief, thinking, “certainly men aren’t motivated to spend time with us, solely because they want to sleep with us. There’s got to be more to it.” Not really. Sure we appreciate a woman who can make us laugh. We enjoy lively, provocative, stimulating conversation. And we like to bask in the glow of your energy, vivaciousness and femininity. But mostly we want to get you naked ASAP and feel your warm flesh pressed against us. Don’t we want to get to know you? Absolutely…but in a biblical way.

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

David M. Matthews


Besides being a relationship coach and author of the controversial book, "Every Man Sees You Naked: An Insider’s Guide to How Men Think," David M. Matthews is an Emmy-winning TV Writer/Producer who’s worked on some of television’s favorite shows.

For more information on David or to get a copy of his free report on "The 3 Things Men Are REALLY Looking For In A Relationship," go to

Location: Porter Ranch, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Couples/Marital Issues, Dating/Being Single Support
Other Articles/News by David M. Matthews:

Getting Men To Stop "Fixing" Your Emotions


Question: My significant other does not know how to handle my emotion when I am depressed or sad. He said he wanted to fix things, but he does not know how, so now he tends to shy away. And his avoidance only makes me feel worse. Is there a way for us to arrive at a happy medium? —Rhonda Answer: This is a great question, and one that has ... Read more

Change Of Heart: Now She Wants Him Back


Question: My ex and I broke up several months ago after five years. Right after the break-up (which was pretty much mutual) I became desperate and needy, begging for him back, which obviously only pushed him away. Now that we've gone almost two months with no contact, we've started texting a very little bit here and there. I'm looking to get back ... Read more

Should She Pursue Former Crush...20 Years Later?


Question: I have an unusual situation here...a guy I served with in the military back in my twenties (we are in our mid 40's now), found me on Facebook two years ago (I was married then).  He often sent me texts: jokes, political things, discussions about our kids (we both have teenaged boys, he's divorced).  We discovered that we had crushes ... Read more

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