While every man is an individual with unique and sometimes peculiar idiosyncrasies, there are certain, universal pet peeves that all men seem to share. The following are three things women do that my brethren generally find utterly repugnant:
1. Unfavorable comparisons. We absolutely detest being unfavorably compared to your father, your brother, your brother-in-law, your ex, the guy who took your virginity or any other man who's seen you naked. Why? Because the clear implication is that, in your opinion, we are somehow deficient in some way, and that makes us feel bad about ourselves and you. If, on the other hand, the comparison is favorable, and we are lauded for our superiority over some other schlub, then you should feel free to compare away.
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2. Suggestions for improvement. Despite what opinion you may hold, most men are fairly happy with who they are. And though you may look in the mirror and see only your flaws, we see our reflections and are generally content with what we behold. So your attempts to "make us over" leave us baffled and annoyed.
This behavior also begs the question why you hooked up with us in the first place — if you were so unhappy with who we are. And if you're feeling we're being overly sensitive in handling your constructive criticism, think about how you would react to helpful suggestions on how you might upgrade your body or improve your sense of style. The bottom line is this: find a man who satisfies whatever criteria you may have, but don't expect to help him "be all he can be." If you're looking for a "fixer-upper," invest in real estate.
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3. The phrase, "You should know why I'm upset." We don't. And we shouldn't, since we can't read your mind, and, for the most part, we're oblivious to any hidden meaning or subtext in your communication. If you're angry with us and we don't know why, it does not mean we don't care about you or your feelings or are too self-absorbed to pay attention to what is going on with you. Keep reading ...
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